A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am 31 years old and a mother of 2 toddlers, their father and i live together. he has not had a stable job in the past 4 years. we once had an amazing connection and relationship but now it is sabotaged by a drug and gambling habit he has. i have been sober for 4 years and now am the only responsible one in the relationship. we have been together 11 years and i feel really torn about the situation i am in. i know it is not a healthy environment for the kids because we are always fighting and then he leaves as he not allowed to have anything illegal here. we are surrounded by his family(mine lives 45 miles away) and they all kinda live the same life....so our lives are constantly interrupted by senseless problems. i feel i should leave him and move on but i do love him for the great man he once was. but i feel like he is a different person and our relationship is deteriorating every day more and more. he wakes up mad, hes mad when he is here and we call each other every name in the book in front of our girls.i am getting to a breaking point and need help....i have given him ultimatums and it seems nothing works....help...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 February 2010):
But he's not the great man he once was. He's a gambling drug addict who argues with you in front of your little girls. The question now is do you value your children's future. Because if you do, you need to leave. You don't want them growing up in a house where a drug addicted gambler is their male role model. It doesn't matter what he was. What matters now is who he is. And he's not worthy to be a father or husband. You have given ultimatums, and he hasn't cared. The time has come for you to choose between whether you want your children and yourself in a house with this man, or whether you would be better getting away from him. You need to move out. Yes it will hurt, yes it will be tough, yes you and your girls will cry. But just imagine for a moment if he comes home high on drugs and hits one of your girls, or ends up dead on front of them. Your children are more important than him. Get them away from him
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