A
male
age
30-35,
*andomando
writes:I may be over analyzing this but i just want a woman's perspective. Its pretty simple i asked a girl out that i met awhile ago through some friends. She said she would love to go but she is busy this week (friday i asked her to go out). She said maybe we can do lunch.. my question is does lunch mean lets be friends? And thats it? Was asking her out to a movie moving to quickly? I mean, i didnt think it was. Also i was wondering if this is a bad idea a good idea or really doesnt matter. I am leaving back to college bye the end of this week! i wont be back until middle of march for a week. And i wont be back home for summer for about 4 months. Is it a bad idea to go down this road with this girl? I would love to be more then friends with her. She is alot different then other girls. Shes more of a bro, and i like that in girls there not high maintenance easy to talk too,and not to girly lol. I dont want to hurt her of course. Just not quite sure what to make of this. any help is appreciated!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 January 2012):
 When a guy asks a girl out on a date, she says, "yes" if she's interested. If she's not, then the proper thing to do is politely decline and simply say you're not interested. Not make up excuses, or constantly have other plans to avoid the persistent guy who wishes to take you out for the evening.
I would take this as she's not into you. If she WAS then she certainly wouldn't cancel on you or keep on feeding you excuses. Don't waste your time and effort on a girl who isn't interested in going out on a date.
A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (23 January 2012):
landomando is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for all of your advice and help!!! i really appreciate it! As for the date we did decide to go on the movie date. it was planned and everything she said she was excited to go. literally an hour before i was going to pick her up she bailed on me. But it was for a college recruiting for field hockey soo i mean tuff shit for me i cant really get mad or do anything about that lol. that was a friday. at around 5. i asked her later that night and she said she had plans to go with friends to get ice cream... it was raining and freezing cold where i am, i was even thinking of ice cream after the movie but thought it was way to cold sooo kinda thought that was ironic and funny she went. im not sure what to make of that so i was pissed and havnt talked to her in a couple days. I just thought if a guy asks u out on a date or hang out and you say yes! then bail, then cant squeeze in a little time to hang out before I leave. i mean comeone wtf].. but i think i will try to contact her and stay in touch with her. Thank you so much for the advice again it really did hellp and the advice with lunch dates/ movie dates was eye opening.!.. haha i learn more on this sight then i do in school lol!!!! thank you
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (19 January 2012):
You do lunch with friends, not a potential boyfriend. Lunch is friendly and only lasts a hour; it's not a romantic evening date that could go on for hours.
She's busy this week..which if she wanted to go out with you, she'd adjust her schedule to make time. And she also said she could "maybe" have a lunch, in which it isn't definite.
If you want to give it a chance, have lunch with her. But let her get back to you for a definite time and day because you don't want to appear eager.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (19 January 2012):
 hhhmm thats a tricky one,
lets do lunch could be just that and nothing more, or as you say if she is a bro she could be just playing it down, trying not to come across eager. However giving your circumstances I would remain friends build that up a little, and if you both like each other then take it up a notch when you get back. keep intouch via phone or email, let her know your interested in her and would like to build a stronger friendship and see were it goes from there.
hope this helps x
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (19 January 2012):
 If she didnt want to go out with you she would not have suggested lunch as an alternative.
Go for lunch, talk to her about your plans, and see what happens.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2012): maybe she just prefered the idea of lunch than a movie, becuase you can actually talk during a lunch date, its easier to get to know someone that way. She didn't say no, and she suggested a plan (she could have just said, i'm busy, and left it at that), so i think that seems positive. as for leaving soon, that will obviously make things difficult, it doesn't seem like you are really going to have time to get to know her, and as you won't be back, there doesn't seem to be much chance of a relationship for now, but if you stay in contact, there is always the chance you could pick things up again in the summer.
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