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female
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anonymous
writes: hi, im not in desperate need of help exactly, just reassurance, that the path im on is right.ive been with my bf for 5months, we were friends at college for the past 2yrs, then when i was drunk one night in summer he asked me out.i never exactly felt i liked him, but now i feel that i do love him, the problem is ive never haa serious relationship before and i know he loves me because hes said it and has talked about marriage and kids, which i dont want.somehow i just dont feel this relationship is going to work out even tho i feel close to him i just think that we're destined for 2 seperate paths. what should i do? stick with him and hope he grows out of the idea of commitment or dump him and look for someone who doesnt want marriage and kids?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2006): Well, you say you feel close to him. One thing that may have happened is that now he's been around for the last five months you have become accustomed to having him in your life. That can happen.
You said he asked you out when you got drunk, and you don't exactly LIKE him. Liking the person you're with is important, you know. Sometimes we want to think that "love" is enough and conquers all. Fact is, it isn't and doesn't. Its important to have common goals, values and to share at least some interests and hobbies - what you like to do in your free time.
You also tell us you have never had any other serious relationship, and marriage with him is not something you want. You have your doubts as to whether this relationship is going to work, in the long run.
There is plenty here for you to think about and decide whether you want to end it or, hope he might grow tired of the idea of commitment if he sees that's not what you want. You might be reluctant to hurt him by ending it, but sometimes ending it as gently and kindly as possible is the only choice and best for all concerned.
No need to decide anything in a hurry, but mull it over in your own mind, and see if a "direction" one way or the other emerges over the next few weeks.....good luck.
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