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anonymous
writes: I have been having an affair with a married man for a few months now, he is 22 years older than me. Problem is I have a boyfriend who is the father of my child and he has recently asked me to get engaged. I don't feel as if I love my boyfriend anymore because of the other man. Realistically there is no future with me and this married man, but I don't want to let him go, nor do I want to let my boyfriend go. What am I meant to do? I'm so confused!! Can't believe I have got myself into this mess! I've never cheated on my boyfriend so can't believe I have done it now but seeing as it is just an affair it doesn't seem real but the feelings that I have for him do!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, pops +, writes (29 June 2005):
Drop them both. YOu will be doing them both a favor. When you figure out who your are, and what you want in a relationship, then, and only then, resume dating. Your BF wants to marry the mother of his child. Your lover is simply enjoying the attention and energy of a younger woman. I hope you are enjoying both of them, sexually. But, if you and BF were going to get married, I suspect that would have occurred before the baby was born. What was the hold up then? Be honest to yourself about this, I suspect that the hold up then is still present now. Scratch the itch if you must, but but give the guys a rest until you figure out who you are. What are your dreams? Career goals? ideal family situation? ideal lover? What do you bring to a relationship to help achieve those dreams and aspirations? pops
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