A
female
age
30-35,
*iss sunshine
writes:It's been one year and a half now that i did the biggest mistake in my life. I broke up with my man after a 3 years relationship. I deeply regret what i did. I left him for another man. I took the decision in a blink of an eye. I didn't know back in that time how to communicate my problems and we ended up fighting all the time. I knew it was a mistake even one month after the broke up, but i refused to go back. I thought that with time the pain would go away. It didn't. Even after one year and a half, i find myself crying over the broke up and all i want is to be with him. I still see him from time to time, as "friends". I know he still has feelings for me, we even slept together but he has a girlfriend. I told him that i love him still but he refuses to listen to me and doesn't want me back. He is afraid of me. I know he still loves me for many reasons that i won't tell you now, but i know it. It hurts so bad that i don't know what to do. I tried to move on, i tried to go out with someone else, but i didn't work. I am now single, i don't want anyone in my life, but i can't stand the pain. He is with someone else, he doesn't love her and he has already cheated over her with me. He said to a friend that he is with her because it is nice to have someone to go to. What should i do? I tried everything! Not seeing him, telling him how i feel, but nothing worked. A piece of advice please!
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 December 2011):
 Stay single, stay strictly friendly with him, and give it time. If you truly love each other, and it is meant to be, then let time heal his wounds (because he was deeply hurt when you left him) and see if he can find it in his heart to forgive you and start to build of trust in you.
If he breaks up with his current girl don't try to get back in a relationship with him, but instead talk to him about building up trust between you and lay the foundations for a good and solid friendship, that might, if it feels right, evolve into more with time.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (7 December 2011):
 There is no advice to give. Like you, he has made up his mind, like you he is determined to walk away. It doesn't matter if he loves you or not, it doesn't matter if he loves her or not, it doesn't matter if you both have sex or not. You broke his trust, he put a wall around his heart. You made a decision, and so has he. His decision is you can't be trusted, you hurt him and he will never be your boyfriend again.
Not saying this to hurt you. But that's the way it is. There is nothing you can do or say to weaken him. He may not love this girl, but his determined in time to find love somewhere, forget you and move on.
Sleeping with him while he is seeing someone else, just makes him remember you like cheating, and doesn't help him think highly of you. You should stop that, it makes you look cheap, and it is stopping you from healing your heart and moving on.
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A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (7 December 2011):
 The most important thing for you to understand now is that if you were to get back together IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AS BEFORE. This is because: you left him at the blink of an eye for another man, you then proceeded to cheat on the new man with him. This automatically tells your ex that you do not know what you want and that you cannot be trusted because the only person you are trying to please in all this is YOU. You will do what suits you.
I think in all honesty, you have to let this one go. If not for yourself... then do it for him. If he decides that with time he can forgive you and learn to trust you then its his choice. But for now... let him move on. You had your chance... allow him his. Good luck xx
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