A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am currently separated, divorce should be final in a couple more months. I met someone on an online dating site and we've been on four dates. This is the first man I've dated since my separation. My problem is that he's perfect for me in every way-kind, sweet, respectful, honest, financially stable and secure-but I am not attracted to him. I've tried, but I'm not feeling it. He's always telling me how beautiful I am and that he feels like he is in a dream being with a beautiful woman like me and how he cant believe someone like me would be with someone like him. I don't know what to say to him when he says this because I am honestly feeling the same way! I am trying not to be shallow because I really like him as a person, , but I am feeling no physical attraction at all to him. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012): tell him exactly how you feel. don't keep leading him on if you're not feeling it because if it doesn't work for you and you end up cutting him off he's going to be crushed because you led him to think you was into him just as much as you. don't play with a person's feelings by keeping it hush hush because just being secret about it is the same thing as deceit. how would you feel if it was the other way around? do the mature thing and woman up.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012): I felt a lack of attraction with a guy whom i eventually fell madly deeply utterly in love with...he became the most handsome attractive man in the world to me. I also felt that way with a man I was with nearly 4 years. The attraction wasn't there to start with, but as I got to know him he became utterly gorgeous to me.... maybe give it a little more time then decide..??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your replies. I am so sad because he's so perfect in other ways. I guess I know what I have to do. Here's hoping I can find someone who has a great personality, good character AND be attractive!
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A
male
reader, MajorDisplayerOfInternationalPlayerBehavior +, writes (5 February 2012):
 You decide. Ask yourself a few questions. Is he worth the effort of having a relationship with? Can you handle the fact that you're not attracted to him? Can you see yourself spending your life with him, even someday if you get past the physical part?If you answered no to all three of those questions, then he's doomed, lol.You can use the excuse, that you don't want him to be your rebound relationship. Or, you can simply tell him that you're not physically attracted to him. It would hurt him a little at first, but in the long run, he will have more respect for you, and a good friendship might result.I'm sure he already knows that he is not handsome. So, it probably would not come as a shock to him to hear it. But try to be nice and let him know of all the other good things that you see in him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 February 2012):
 If you feel no physical attraction to him then he's a friend and you must be honest... physical attraction is not something that you can fake.
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