A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Im at my wits end with my baby sons father. Our son is almost 2 and me and his dad are no longer together. We have a really good routine on having our son, where he will have him for the whole weekend every other weekend and then for a couple of hours on the weekends he doesnt have him. He works away all week and lives with his parents at the weekends. He does not have a mobile phone and doesnt really care that I cant get hold of him. So Im forced to phone his parents house phone when I want to speak to him. This is fine at the weekends but then when hes away during the week I cant get hold of him at all. This has been the situation for a year. It annoyed me so much that in the end I just bought him a cheap phone and gave it to him so I could contact him during the weekend if I needed to. I hadrly ever need to contact him but sometimes my work hours change and I need to talk to him about what time I can drop our son off/pick him up or whether he can have him longer etc. Or heaven forbid, something awful could happen to our son and I would have no way of contacting him. I literally have to wait at the end of the week or leave a message with his parents and to be honest I am sick to the back teeth of it. So this week Ive tried to contact my ex on the phone this week about this weekend. But he doesnt answer, he doesnt text back or ring back. Its clear that he does not use the phone that I gave to him. I just think he is being so irresponsible as a parent. Why would any parent want to make themselves uncontactable when they have a young child? Ive tried talking to him and saying I would prefer him to have a phone so I can get hold of him if needed. Even my mum has asked him. But he just doesnt. He just thinks its ok for me to keep ringing his parents all the time. He is 35 for goodness sake. Im so tempted to just not bother dropping my son off with him this weekend, and make him start chasing me and see how he likes it. Petty and immature I know but I just dont see any other way of getting him to see that he is irresponsible and unreasonable.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2012): "I just think he is being so irresponsible as a parent.
Why would any parent want to make themselves uncontactable when they have a young child?"
You "think" he's being irresponsible? He's deliberately remaining out of touch to avoid his parental responsibility. That's being irresponsible. Almost seems like he is purposely sticking you with the kid so he can go out and get laid.
"Im so tempted to just not bother dropping my son off with him this weekend"
That's exactly what he wants, that's why he's not returning your messages. Don't even bother not bothering to drop your son off, just stay home and don't waste any time not dropping him off, wouldn't be home when you didn't drop the kid off anyway, probably out doing with whatever it was he stuck the kid with you to do in the first place in order to do.
"and make him start chasing me and see how he likes it."
He'll hate the idea of chasing you so much he just won't bother to bother chasing you. He'll just stick you with the kid while he's out having fun and he'll like it just fine.
"Petty and immature I know but I just dont see any other way of getting him to see that he is irresponsible and unreasonable."
DUH! Stupid and moronic and pointless. You don't need him to "get" him to see that he is irresponsible and unreasonable by not dropping off a kid he's not going to chase after, you need to "get" he is irresponsible and unreasonable by intentionally sticking you with the kid in the first place by avoiding contact. You "get" him to be responsible and reasonable for the kid's sake.
Are you stupid or vain or both? He is not sticking by the phone not answering your calls and he is not waiting for you to not drop your son off. He's deliberately ignoring you so he can do what he wants without a kid tying him down, that's why you're stuck with him.
My sympathies to your child. Only two and already facing Hurclean odds in life.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 January 2012):
 I completely understand where you are coming from. It is obvious he needs to step up and become responsible. It is clear to me that he just does not want to be contacted from you. I guess he just wants to see his son when he can and when it suits him and leave it at that. To be honest you have every right to be annoyed at him. But it is your son that will suffer if you hold back visitation rights. Talk to him and tell him if he does not start being responsible then you are not going to chase him. Don't you contact him allow him to contact you for a while and see how it goes.
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