A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, im a 19 year old male, and ive just started having sex, yet all of the times ive done it i havent felt anything, its warm and all but no real sexual pleasure like when i masturbate, ive considered the fact i may be gay but that doesnt appeal to me any more than girls. wtf is wrong with me? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 Dear Young one,...your observation about your own experience is most intelligent. But, I am not sure whether you would understand my answer? Anyway I like to put on the record, the cause of your complaint. If not today, then some day at your maturity, my answer will help you, and will guide your sex life with greater efficacy. Here is your own statement, I am taking as they make notable point.
'i havent felt anything, its warm and all but no real sexual pleasure like when i masturbate"
What you describe about your own sexual experience as,- its warm and all...but no real sexual pleasure.- That warm and soft feeling, please note 'feeling'...There are two type of feeling,..one is sensual feeling which you termed as warm and can be termed as soft and smooth...is sensual feeling. It is generated from 'sense of touch'....It is fact of your experience.
Another is 'feeling of emotion'... which depend upon your vision of love and of sex. It will come after some maturity. As you say, you feel sex pleasure in masturbation, which is also right feeling. It is "erotic feeling," beyond sensual feeling.
'Erotic feeling' is caused by the method, how you deal with your 'nerve ending'...When you do masturbation, you are alone to guide your hand, how much pressure of touch? Where? Erotic pleasure is one, that guide your action.
But, in couple, sex act is guided by feeling of love. When you go only for sex with some one...than everything will be random...not with love, but just to finish the work., will not give you 'erotic pleasure'...you expect.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 The pleasures of sex is all in the mind.If you are not in it , you won't receive any pleasures. You just want to get it over quickly .
Some one you love or someone who have a strong attraction to will make a difference.
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (27 February 2010):
 It is quite possible to become so addicted and acclimated to masturbation (and pornography) that is spoils your enjoyment of regular sexual activities with a woman. In MY youth, pornography was rarely accessible, which left only reality with a girl (or personal imagination) to be sexually stimulating. It's another world today, and one which may well mess up a young man's normal activities with young women. Just my thought and something to consider.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010):
being attracted to someone is a big thing when it comes to sex- it doesn't mean you're sleeping with unattractive people, just that you're not really attracted to them. I was never crazy about sex until i met my current partner, but i was attracted to him in a way i'd never been to anyone before and things are pretty healthy between us! How do you bring yourself to orgasm when you're alone? what do you think about? working that out might help you decide whether you really are turned on or not when it comes to the girls you are sleeping with.
...............................
|
