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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend's mom is ridiculously materialistic. She's like a walking talking brand name. She makes fun of poor people and judges them. Well this year she's holding a huge party and giving away extravagant gifts for Christmas (perfumes, Luis Vuitton wallets, etc. I know half of it must be fake because his family is by no means rich.) But that doesn't matter. My question is, I went out of my way to try and "please" them by buying a decent gift..but last year she tossed my gift aside under the bathroom sink and never opened it and it was a decent gift as well. I'm worried if I give her her gift at the party she will mock me or make fun of it even though I put effort into looking for it. Same goes for my bf, she has been boasting about buying him a super expensive gift and all I bought him was a nice shirt, a nice pair of socks and a mouse pad he was in need of (I didn't have a job but do now). She is the type to make fun of people at parties (one time she called one of her friends a transvestite because of how she was dressed, in front of everyone). I feel discouraged from giving her a pretty shirt and semi-luxurious bath set. I feel its not enough. My family is very frugal and humble about money and we save a lot so we never give extravagant gifts. Help please! The holidays are supposed to be about spending time with people and giving thoughtful affordable gifts, not about spending ridiculous amounts right??
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (22 December 2011):
 From what you describe there's no way you can play on her field, so don't even go there. Get a tasteful card (consult your b/f on whether it should be religous or secular, i.e. Jesus or Santa), and write in it something along the lines of "Your son has been life-changing for me, and that could only have happened because of his parents". How can she put that down?
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (22 December 2011):
 It sounds like she's sucked you in to her scheme of trying to "match" gifts and gift valuations.
You can get past that by offering a nice gift, that you can afford, and wrapping it neatly, and presenting it with a smile... then not giving it a second thought what the recipient does with that gift....
Problem solved....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2011): Get her a mousetrap.... and if she puts it under the sink this year,people will think the house is infested
: )
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (21 December 2011):
 Yes, she DOES sound extremely difficult, I must say!
Perhaps you could ask her - or better yet, ask your boyfriend what kind of gift she'd like to receive from you -or, get her a gift certificate so she can buy herself something she wants........
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, iiSparkle  +, writes (21 December 2011):
 She sounds awful!
The holidays are about spending time with friends and family and enjoying yourself not about spending heaps amount of money. Have you tried asking the boyfriend as to what he thinks you should get his mother?
Or get her a greetings card or something.
If she isn't going to use/like it then there's really no point in getting it, I say.
Likewise, blow off the party and spend time with your family and friends. There is no need to go to a party if you're going to get looked down upon.
It is entirely your decision.
I hope all goes well!
Talk about the devil. :P
Good luck!
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