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New to the dating game, how do I keep the relationship going?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 February 2005) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2006)
A , anonymous writes:

Hiya i'm Marley, and im about a month into my first proper girlfriend. I used to be really fat but now ive lost all my weight so ive recently come into the dating game, so i don't know how to keep a relationship going E.G i don't kno whether i should text my girlfriend all the time cos it will be annoying her or if she wants me to text her because she wants to hear from me. I know it sounds really petti but i don't know what to do, and i really want this to work but im not sure if im doing the right thing all the time i want to make her happy but not sure if im been to clingy or not clingy enough and things like that, please help me!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2006):

I'm in the same prediciment. Let her do all the chasing, that way you will know if she likes you and how much.

With texts and calls, i think one is enough, dont over do it, she may think you are too clingy, but ask if it bothers her. You dont want to sound or look too desperate by contacting her too much, play it cool, that way she come back for more, dont forget that good things come in small doses,packages.

Good luck and remember, keep cool.


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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (2 February 2005):

Bev Conolly agony auntHi Marley,

Congratulations on the new, trim, sensational you!

The very best thing to do, is what you feel is best.

This works for all kinds of aspects of the relationship, such as "When do I say 'I Love You'?", "How often should we have sex?", "Should we move in together?", and "Should we get a cat?"

You don't want to go into any relationship as anything but completely honest; otherwise, you're giving a false picture of yourself to your girlfriend and you end up living a lie.

That's why you text your g/f when it feels right to you; not more and not less. If she's unhappy with the amount of affection you show naturally, (or the sound of your laugh, or the fact that you like Kung Fu movies, or your dress sense) then she's really not going to be happy with you, unless you act UNnaturally. Right? And how long would you be happy if you had to force yourself into unnatural behaviour?

Having said that, of course you can learn to be more affectionate, if that's what you both want. The way to find this out is to talk to your g/f about it.

Say "Sometimes I wonder if sending you so many texts during the day is a distraction. Does it bother you at all?" Or say, "I sometimes think twice about sending a text to you, even when I want to. Would it be all right if I sent a few more sometimes, just to let you know I'm thinking of you?"

See? Not hard.

Just be true to yourself and what feels good and natural to you, then talk to her about it and make sure it feels good to her, too.

Good luck!

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