A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im going to try to condense the story as much as possible.I been dating this girl for about a month and a half now. Our relationship is moving very slowly and I'm okay with it. I have some recurring thoughts though. I have a strong feeling that she is not very appreciative of how much I give to her. She has still to be open with me about her emotions and fully embrace my love and dedication. Its to the point where I feel disrespected for the amount of time and work I put in. Its not reciprocated...This leads me to the belief that she's not for me. She does not know how to keep me. Also, the fact that she's been cheated on makes me think its not just me, but she just doesn't know how to appreciate men in general, a valid reason why people cheat on their significant other. She doesn't have what it takes to fully make me happy? I require a girl who knows how to treat me, respect me, appreciate me, and love me. I tell myself that its because our relationship is still new so I am still in the chasing phase, no reason why she would completely embrace me yet. But I also believe that its impossible to change people and people can ONLY change themselves and what if this is one of those things? Few days ago, I started talking to my ex, behind the new girl's back. It feels like I'm already cheating on her, in a very vague sense. So maybe this girl really just doesn't know how to make me happy? I met my ex up the other day and I realize how much she still cares for me and loves me. She knows how to treat me and gives me everything. She knows how to respect appreciate and love me, everything a guy could ask for. at least everything that I could ask for.What are your thoughts about this? Do you agree with my belief and how I feel about "cheating"?Should I be patient with the new girl and maybe she will eventually learn to appreciate and cherish me and embrace me as a lover?
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female
reader, GettingInYourBizness +, writes (26 October 2011):
 Just an observation from your text:
ON THE "NEW GIRL":
I feel disrespected for the amount of time and work I put in. Its not reciprocated...This leads me to the belief that she's not for me. She does not know how to keep me.
[....] she just doesn't know how to appreciate men in general, a valid reason why people cheat on their significant other.
ON WHAT YOU NEED:
I require a girl who knows how to treat me, respect me, appreciate me, and love me.
ON YOUR "EX":
Few days ago, I started talking to my ex, behind the new girl's back.
I met my ex up the other day and I realize how much she still cares for me and loves me. She knows how to treat me and gives me everything. She knows how to respect appreciate and love me, everything a guy could ask for. at least everything that I could ask for.
COMMENT: I think the real question is why is she your "ex?" If you still contacted your ex, doesn't that mean your still into her (esp if you have no kids, no reason to make contact BEYOND just wanting to talk to her)? And if your still on your ex, in reality, even if you met 10 (in all aspects or whatever), wouldn't she seem like nothing compared to the ex, since you're still hung up on her?
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