| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I;m an 18 years old girl, turning 19 very soon,and I feel very sad about my future boy- friend issue.I' don't know what am I doing wrong, but everytime,I have a ""chance'' it turnes out nothing at the end...Usually ,the guy already has a girlfriend, and he just telling me this later.And invest so much effort and time in this hopeless cases.Yet ,I don't seem to learn, because I'm very desparate to get a boyfriend.It took a lot of energy away from me, because I focus too much on this, and my university projects getting weaker, because of this..I do look good, it is not about look, but it seems,I'm always the one who gets dumped.Is there any good advice? Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (12 August 2009):
 Have you ever dated older guys. Guys your age are going to be on a different maturity level then you usually. At your age guys are not ready to settle down and make long term commitments to one girl and many men have a fear of commitment.
Meet some men that have allready completed school and are around five years older then you you should have more success with an older man that doesn't have all the pressure on him that college students do .
A
female
reader, thesexgurus  +, writes (11 August 2009):
girl point of view:
stop acting so desperate, guys find it very unattractive if your that easy to get. they like the chase of a relationship, its instinct. try playing hard to get. also, dont dress too skimpy and slutty, be sexy but not too exposed. guys want someone good looking but if you want them to think of you as a long term, serious kind of relationship, they dont want you to look like your looking for a bedroom relationship with every guy in school. be sexy not skanky,
guy point of view:
listen to her. be normal dont act desperate, but make sure people know your single, kinda in between.
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A
female
reader, purple_butterfly +, writes (11 August 2009):
confidence and self-respect is the key. I used to be like you when i entered university. I thought something was wrong and I just cannot gt a boyfriend. when i got one, and it dint work out, it always felt like i duno how to keep relationships.
We girls really forget at times that we shud wait and just let the guys like us for who we are. The more time youd spend on becoming and learning what youre not , youd keep pushing the real urself away from you and the more perfect youd want things to be, the less perfect thyd be in regards to the real you. Love urself. I learnt it after long and after a lot of hard times that you cannot love anyone if you do not love yourself. Spend time on making urself happy than trying to figure out things thatd make your bf or your relationship work better. Be happy and that would create the confidence in itself.
Guys like the girls who have a life,who have confidence, who loves themselves and above all whos not pessmistic and clingy. be confident and make urself happy. when the right guy comes in , youd just know.
I hope this helped!
Boyfriend cannot make you happy unless you aint happy with urself. You have to learn to make urself happy and then the boyfriend wud just be an add on.
goodluck dear and patience is the key
if you wait, you shall not rgret falling for wrong people.
love
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