A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife is 47 and told me she wants to quit her job (which she enjoys) to become a nurse or paramedic.She has a very responsible job currently, it's got a 9-5 workday like mine, but my worry is that it'll be new levels of stress for her that she may not be able to handle. Her job isn't medical currently.She told me that she's not doing it because it's a dream job or because she's fed up of her current one, just as a temporary thing to tide her over while she decides what job to look for next when her contract expires in November.She said to me "Better than working in McDonald's or retail".Her current job doesn't have the levels of stress a paramedic would, and mine doesn't either.I love my wife, but wonder if this is a midlife crisis or problem; after all, you can't just become a paramedic as a temporary job can you?I'm supportive usually, but wouldn't this be a huge pay cut from her current job (which involves working with adults who have special needs in mainstream school and writing Individualized Education Plans and handling life issues for adults with autism spectrum disorder, here in our suburb of Toronto, Ontario) or not?I get she wants to do a responsible job, it's laudable, I mean her current job IS a responsible one.In her current job she hasn't had to deal with deadlines as such due to the people being long-term or meetings with clients etc. as her job's largely documentation-focused and using assessment and writing skills, often writing long documents and about data retention etc.; she's done that sort of job role for a long time now, although it's shifted between employers.My job I don't have to deal as much with clients or employers etc. as I'm simply delivering goods back and forth - I'm a delivery driver delivering candy to a set number of shops for a certain brand. No control over that and I don't have the issue of bosses yelling at me, clients etc.I love my wife, but am uncertain if her idea of being a paramedic as a temporary job to tide her over is the right way of thinking about things.She told me she had a backup plan of working in Victoria's Secret as a store assistant if she didn't get the paramedic job.She'd also looked at modelling for a BDSM website in PVC crop top and thong, because the paycheck was good; about $1.5k more than her current job, but it'd be good money, she said, and her main motivation was money there.My biggest worries are personal and financial; the huge gear change in lifestyle for us, depending on which job she goes for, and how she'll adjust to, at 47, moving into retail after years of working in very responsible jobs handling sensitive data when she's never worked in retail and doesn't know much on that.Am I wrong to have these worries and how can I help her, since she's kept shifting from wanting to be a paramedic to considering doing the BDSM gear modelling? (yes, really, before anyone thinks that's a joke).
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2021): We get this kind of post quite often; and rarely do we get a follow-up from the OP to determine if their spouse, or significant other, ever carried-out their aspired career-changes.
Like most of us, we look back over our lives and consider what we've accomplished, and failed to accomplish. Especially, following high school class reunions; or running into our old college classmates. At this stage of the game, your wife's plans are strictly aspirational. When, where, and how she plans to carry them out is still in the planning stage. She hasn't quite made up her mind. All these ideas may just dissipate; and she'll settle back into her life as usual.
Career-changes and cross-training into a new field can be rewarding. You just have to have a plan and be determined to meet your goals.
She's too old to be indecisive and all over the place. The reality is, once you reach a certain age; employers become very ageist and selective about their hiring. Nursing requires at least 3 to 4 years of nursing school. Depending on whether she wants to be a Licensed Practical Nurse, or a Registered Nurse. These require different levels of training in the nursing profession. The highest being a nurse-practitioner; which is almost comparable to being an MD. Many actually have their own practice. They usually have their doctorate in nursing; and specialize in different fields of medicine.
Doesn't seem like she's particularly decided about anything; but I'd take her seriously, if she just wants a career change. I've made some serious career-changes over my lifetime; but they were all well-planned and calculated. I had the qualifications, and in a couple of jobs...I was definitely overqualified. I found my niche, and that took-off. I didn't wait until I was practically 50; but late-starters often find their true calling.
Just keep her focused. It has to be one thing or another; and remind her she still has bills to pay. She can't behave like a single college-freshman; she's a well-established mature married-woman, who has to make wise decisions in a very scary and unpredictable world economy.
She hasn't quit yet; and you shouldn't be too worried at this point in time. She knows she has to work, and if she makes a bad decision; she may find herself working more than one job to make ends meet. It might turnout tougher on her than you.
A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (11 October 2021):
 I think that the two of you need to have a sit down and have a look at your finances and see if it is possible for her to do this.
I think it would be best for her to keep her current job and study to do what she wants, whether it be a nurse or paramedic as i'm sure a lot of this can be done online. I think she would be daft to leave her current 9-5 job at the moment as this would leave all the outgoing bills to you and this is not fair.
If she was single, lived on her own i would say what a good idea, but she is married, with responsibilities and has to realise that the decisions she makes affects others.
You need to sit down and talk about this with her.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (11 October 2021):
 The steps to becoming an EMT are not as complicated as they may seem. After achieving a high school diploma and obtaining CPR certification, completing an EMT-Basic program leads to EMT-Basic certification. Following that, completing a paramedic program, either a degree or certificate, and passing an exam, leads to a paramedic certification.
A lot of the certification can be done online.
Salaries are roughly 50K a year.
Not sure about the BDSM modeling. I think it's very niche, but my guess is if she has the "right look" and modeling abilities she can probably make ok money there. Not sore long term though.
I know a few teachers who have quit teaching and are now doing very different things, one is back in college and others are doing office work.
I think you need to have a sit-down and ask her to make a plan. Not just quit and think: "oh it will be easy to switch gears".
If she isn't fulfilled in her workplace maybe trying something else can help. She just has to be responsible and reasonable when deciding this. Are YOU supposed to carry the whole financial load while she "tries" this out?
You two need to talk about this. Could it be her just venting? Sure.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2021): To work as a paramedic in Ontario you need first to successfully graduate from a two years College certified paramedic program.Then, you need to pass your AEMCA test to get a licence.Then, all aspiring paramedics needs to pass another test ( I don't remember the name ) which is sort of an aptitudinal test .Then, once you are hired , your employer may want you to get certified in some specific procedure,like defribillation etc.
We are not talking about some little temp jov to tidy you over while you make up your mind ; we are talking about a career, an important and demanding one ,which involves a time investment of 3 years or more before you can even start applying for jobs.
But I am sure that your wife, a responsible person with a responsible, regular job knows all that already.Maybe you just misunderstood what she said or meant- or maybe she was just daydreaming .
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