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My wife says I need to calm down but sex is always on my mind!

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 April 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 24 April 2012)
A male United States age 51-59, *hymexycpl writes:

I recently turned 46 and have had alot of sex on my mind. not only the act, but pics and videos to help me get off. My wife says Im too horny and need to calm down but I cant help it. I even watch porn with a buddy of mine to relieve the tention but I feel like that worked me up even more. I love my wife but she is making it difficult to enjoy sex. Is she out of sinc with me or is our sex life parted ways.I love sex and wanna enjoy it with my wife but things look like Im riding solo. Please help...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012):

Work on relaxing the wife by backing off on the sex angle. Stop suggesting or complaining about lack of sex.

And back off on the porn too as that is probably making her feel hurt.

Instead focus on rebuilding the trust and the love between her and you. Rebuild your relationship with her to better reconnect with her as a person you like being with but don't try to push for sex yet. Show your caring side. Be sensitive about what is important to her. Listen to her concerns without being judgemental. Compliment her, but make sure you don't look like you are angling for sex. Don't talk about sex while you still need to improve the trust.

Buy yourself a fleshlight.com on line and quietly get on with it so you are not left wanting, while you reconnect with her..

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A male reader, love wife Eritrea +, writes (23 April 2012):

i have the same problem , my advice if you can :cheat on her and stay away , she will feel that it is time to take care of you , OR divorce her , the crazy woman is the one refuses her man in bed , this woman must go to hell

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A male reader, barleysinger Australia +, writes (22 April 2012):

Honestly, there isn't anything necessarily WRONG with you. Although in people who do ot have enough basic pleasurein life (dopamine response issues) there can be a subconsions obcession with things that cause a stong dopamine release (food, sex, etc) however unless you have other low dopamine related symptoms (a lack of any desire to do hobbies and other pursuits you generally love, shaking hands, depression of mood) then it is unlikely to be the case.

It is also true that most women in the mid thirties have a *VERY* strong sex drive until their mid-forties (at least) due to nature trying to get them to have more kids while it is still safest.

You might want to see if EITHER of you have unusual hormone levels. That for her involves a standard hormone panel : estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, FSH, oxytocin, etc

For you is is basically the same blood test.

Most adult humans want to have sex a few times a week, even if their lives and bodies (health, etc) do not allow for it. We have evolved to want this.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 April 2012):

Honeypie agony auntSeems like the two of you have totally different needs. And honestly you sounds like you have a little bit of a problem.. if you NEED pictures & videos to get you off and isn't stimulated enough but the "act" of sex.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (21 April 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntIt is just a case that you have a higher sex drive than her at the moment. This can cause difficulties in a relationship, my best advice would just be to sit down with her and talk about it and come to some sort of agreement that suits the both of you.

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