A
male
age
41-50,
*eel
writes:MY WIFE IS NOT SURE SHE WANTS TO BE WITH MEI've been with my wife for 10 years but now tells me she does want children but not sure if it's with me and that she doesn't think she has feelings for me any more. We've had loads of really good times, I have quite a good job so we travel the world and we often go to exclusive events or stay in posh hotels, i'll plan surpries etc, we do something exciting pretty much every weekend. Sometimes it seems like it's not enough for her, she throws it back in my face by telling me these hurtful things. I think the main problem is that we've agrued lots in the past, normally about other girls and she says i need to find someone else, she tells me she knows my mind. I'm not very dominent but she is so I normally go with what she says. However when we've argued in the past I've thrown things at her in hurt and anger, and have caused a bruise. It's only happened a few times, which I know it shouldnt at all, i'm not controlling in any way,I guess it's still domestic abuse though but I just lost it and i've since sought help and now i want to build upon the relationship. I feel terribly guilty about what i did, she's told her friends (male and female)and now they think i'm a real bad person and that she should leave me. She doesn't have a problem flirting with other men though and i've let her see other men out of guilt. Now she tells me she doesnt think she can carry on with me. I love her to bits and it's hurting me so much, especially when i see her with other men or flirting with other men, giving them the affection I so badly crave from her but i know all this must be hurting her too. I'd just love her to hold me tight and tell me how much she loves and wants me... I'm not sure if it's my fault, is she the selfish one? Do I leave her for her sake, what do I do?
View related questions:
flirt, want children Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, teel +, writes (22 April 2010):
teel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks people... I've persuaded her that we should go to counselling, I guess she must want things to be right if she's agreed but says she can't make the decision and wishes someone could make it for her. Hopefully the counsellor will give us much needed help and ideas.
A
male
reader, Flyguymyeye +, writes (21 April 2010):
Leave her but make sure she cannot screw you over for money etc. I'm amazed at how much you have put up with. You will meet someone better and it is easy to forget once you have something better.
It will be hard but worth it for your long term happiness
...............................
A
female
reader, shannon222  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone does things that they later regret. If she is not showing affection to you and is open about not having those feelings for you. Then unfortunately there is a point where you have to walk away. It will be a hard decision to make, but in the end, it will be easier then staying in a relationship that you know isn't true. It will be tough at first, but day by day you will get over her a little more. I am possibly going to have to make that decision myself soon. I am sure we are both hoping it will work itself out. And there is that possibility. But, you should really think of trying to at least take a breather. It seems as though she has possibly lost the reason she loved you to begin with. If you take a break from the relationship, it will either bring back old feelings or make you realize that you can be happy without her. And yes, you can be. I hope my answer helps you. It is probably not what you wanted to hear. But you can't watch her with other men and it not break you down emotionally. It is my opinion, but I think you should maybe pull away and start doctoring your wounds. Having love for someone doesn't mean you have to be with them. Please make the decision that will make you happiest.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): So, i normally dont comment on here but... I honestly dont believe its your fault, and for her to be flirting with other guys..
i wouldnt stand it atleast, but maybe i might not be the best person to listen to
...............................
|
