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female
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*issele66
writes: I met my b/f when he was married just one month - he pursued me and I eventually gave in. It was only to be "fun with no strings/ties" but feelings grew. He left his wife late last got a bedsit and is now divorced.I suffer from depression/stress/anxiety, which I am now having Psychotherapy for. For months from the moment we met I went through a very very bad time (O/D, self harm, self hate, insecurity, jealousy etc.). He supported me through it, even though he suffered and still is because I am often bitter to him.I have been told by a psychic and my therapist that my past is a lot to do with why I am bitter and angry. I am exactly the way my dad was with my mum - they divorced 2 yrs ago at the age of 66!I so want to feel what I felt for him not just the lust because I know that can die, but I feel myself pulling away/holding back and being very distant.I was badly hurt when my 1st ever relationship ended at 23, thanks to my so called best friend! I lost my home and have never really come to terms with it.I had an abortion with my 1st fella and have suffered some problems with all my relationships thereafter and I now find myself tearful afterwards, which in turn makes me not interested in doing it at all.My current fella is a diamond guy (and I feel that from the heart) because he loves me so much (has proved it!) and would do ANYTHING for me, but there's nothing he can do to get my feelings back. I feel something for him otherwise I would walk away easily, but I can't!I'm a very independent person with a good financial head on my shoulders. I own my own flat. I'm not scared of being alone as I have lived alone since 23 (i'm now 39!)He feels we should continue and hope my feelings return once my subconscious learns to "give/open up" again, more so after completion of my psychotherapy.Anyone know how to reactivate feelings that you had for someone?
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male
reader, Ricardo +, writes (20 October 2005):
Hi- a sticky situation -sounds like you are not yet healed, and really need to be so before you enter a relationship, otherwise all that stuff will transfer over and you will have no chance. You need to regain your centre and be whole again, then you can offer something. Trying to reactivate feelings that are gone can be undesirable whilst still in the midst of emotional turmoil-by keeping control, youwill learn patience, whcih will then breed discipline, leading to fortitude and then self-confidence. Dont feel guilty about any decisions you may need to make for your welfare. Once your psychic strength returns, it will be easier to move into the future. Good luck!
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