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My stepson lies about me...

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 February 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 February 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My partner and I both have one child each from previous relationships, mine lives with us and his have visited at weekends and school holidays for 3 years. From the very start my stepson has told us stories about how nasty his stepfather is to him at home and I have always questioned why my partner does nothing about this, he says he can't rock the boat or he will lose access to his son. The child has now accused me of kicking him, banging his head against a wall and locking him in rooms, my partner knows I am not even capable of this and is in no doubt it didn't take place. When questioned his son denied it had taken place.

I have spent 6 years in college doing child care to further my career so feel incredibly vulnerable around this child now. Recently it came to my attention that not only had he made these allegations to his father but he had told a neighbour too. Having taken advice from many friends and child care professionals I requested to my partner that he see his son at his mother's and not bring him to our home anymore as he had put me in a very bad situation. This has caused us immense stress and endless rows but I don't know what else to do to protect myself and my career.

During one row it came to light that my partner knew the child was lying about his stepfather all along and that he was a good man who wouldn't hurt him. Any advice would be great as I feel so torn by this situation and I am hurting everyone by doing this I'd be interested to know what others would do in this situation.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008):

It is the same the whole world over, every parent thinks that their child is great, no matter what they do and they are blood, and that is thicker than water,as the saying goes. You need to speak to your bloke and explain that the child needs help, he clearly has some mental problems that need tackling now rather than later. He needs help. As for you two, you need to stand together and have a united front on this one. Please dont buckle under the strain now. You both could do with some family counselling too, to see the best way forward, have a word with your GP and see if you can get some help. Tell you bloke that under no circumstances are you going to be left with this child alone, never ever put yourself at risk. My stepson said that someone was going in his bedroom (he lives with us, along with my son), i used to put his ironing on his bed, thats all, simple, i leave it outside of his door. I never ever go in that room. Take the danger out of the way, make him meet him somewhere else, and it doesnt have to be at his exs, they could meet at a MacDonalds or go to the cinema, but dont be bullied into having the brat with you.

take care


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A female reader, Jargenhunter United States +, writes (27 February 2008):

The child is obviously having some attention problems if he is talking badly about both you and his step father. This might be an attempt to turn his parents against their newly chosen spouses in an attempt to reunite them. Either way, the child needs to talk with a counselor.

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