A
female
age
30-35,
*ebeccaa
writes:Hi, I need advise desperately! This question isn't really about me it’s about my mum. My parents split up when I was 7, and when I was 9 my mum found someone else. He wasn't really the perfect step-dad for me. I didn’t really like him much, never really have, but I liked him more than I do now. Even when my mum and step dad first got together they argued and my mum was upset. Now it’s different and a hell of a lot worse.I am now 16 just about to leave school and go to college. The arguing is constant, quite violent, oh and I haven’t mentioned they now have a 4 year old daughter (my half sister). My mum is now on depression tablets because she is so stressed. She is always moaning about how much of an idiot he is (which he is). He shouts at us all for the smallest things, like leaving the lights on, or spilling a drink, and I’m not talking about just "oh why have you spilled that drink" he will yell at the top of his voice, swearing, slam doors, smash cups. My mum, my sister, and I now stay upstairs out of his way. My sister has started to hit, push, and kick people. I think this has to do with the way my step dad treats us, and talks to us all. She thinks because her dad does it, it's ok for her to do it. She has also said to my mum "mummy can you take daddy to the doctors to stop him being nasty all the time?" I don’t think that is normal for a 4 year old to say that. My mum always says that we are going to move out but she has said this for about three years and the situation just gets worse. After they have a really big argument my mum will tell me she is looking for somewhere else to live and start looking for houses but she never actually goes any further. Is there anything I can do? Are there any suggestions anyone can give? Thanks.
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emotionally abusive, split up, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (10 March 2011):
Rebeccaa is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou for your help
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (10 March 2011):
 You can start looking for houses if you can. Find one and tell her that it is where you should move because this man is not healthy for anyone. His own daughter hates him. The thing about emotional abuse is its tendency to tear away at someone's self-esteem, it is eating away at her spirit and her joy until she is too weak to leave because somehow she might have persuaded herself that she is just not good enough for anyone else, then it is the fear of being alone that takes over. Perhaps I am wrong, perhaps it is not that bad yet, in any case, these are things to consider. Talk to her about it and help her through it because she will need to be encouraged every step of the way. Good luck.
I hope that helps.
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