A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,I have been going through a very very difficult period in my life for a long time.Every aspect of my life keeps on falling apart: my career, family life, personal life, social life, my finances, my health. Believe me when I say it has been a nightmare and none of these are things that I have control of. But instead of improving things go from bad to worst and two years now there is no sign of improvement in any of these areas and no doubt it will continue to get worst (this isnt being pessimistic but factual based on what each of these things are all leading up to)If it was perhaps one area of my life or two I could find a way to balance, but the fact is every single area of my life is falling apart.So my question is that I am coming to a point now where I am getting depressed. I have been very strong and tried extremely hard to be a positive person throughout this all. But after 2 yrs without a break and uncontrollable things I see happening in foreseeable future, I am beginning to be concerned that my spirit is now breaking and stress and depression may hit me really really hard.(Dont mean to be rude but please dont give me advice based on my situations, or your judgement of my situation when you dont know anything about it by telling me I need to change my circumstances or leave the situations etc as no one knows what I am going through and BELIEVE me when I say there is not any option of just "changing my environment" or whtever. I am an educated person and if there was any such solution believe me I would have found it. Its a matter a house made of cards falling apart so to speak with very little control.....not looking for preaching on changing my situations...looking for advice on coping) ANYWAY Is there any advice on how to beat this depression or try to keep my spirits up despite everything awful thats going wrong? Also I have read and tried to practice positive energy/thinking etc. Positive attracts positive but so far it never manifested so perhaps I was doing something wrong. So helpful suggestions on that could be good too.THanks all.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): Boy oh boy, do I know what you are talking about.
It is almost as if it is now out of your control. Everything you thought was sorted, gets turned upside down, to a point where you wonder what else is going to happen. When I loose everything which made my world and life tick, there are two things left now which are about to go, I have now, a new life. Going through this process feel very, very scary and unsettling. But,
I now know, in my heart, spirit and soul, that I am about to start a new jorney, don't know what it is yet, but it has happened over 3 years, without my imput or control, and it has brought my life to a place where change is unavoidable. I think it is going to be perhaps something which I have always been needing and looking for, but something took over and did it for me!
If you talked to me a month ago, I was where you are. Now I have opened myself up to the change and am starting at times to be excited about my future, which is huge. I encourage you to mail me and I can give you more understanding of the things I have experianced, in a similar way to you, and you will understand then, why this post is so important to me.
One thing I will say to you now, is that you have not and are not loosing your spirit nor is it breaking, it is evolving and changing in the way you perhaps need it too.
I firmly beleive you should hear my story. It may give you hope.
All the best.
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 I am going through what you are and I'm 35. I just quit a well paying career, weeded out friends in my life, and have sunk into this phase where I just feel stuck and It's very difficult for me to envision my future with any sort of enthusiasm. Sometimes I believe that it is necessary to just give yourself permission to be depressed, relax, and go through whatever you need to go through- the problem is, it's always "inconvenient" because daily life requires you to meet so many demands. Sometimes life just stops us in our tracks! I think maybe what you are experiencing, you have been fighting for awhile, and now you are too exhausted from fighting it- that's my case. You could try to go to a Dr. and get antidepressants to shorten the duration and rule out any chemical imbalance, but either way- there's no quick fix. I've been reading up on this sort of thing and it looks like people do go through these phases and it's usually right before they are about to make major changes in their life for the better. M. Scott Peck (the road less traveled) says we all go through "depressions" and it's essential to just give ourselves permission to go through it, as painful and dysfunctional as it is. It was suggested to me to take a walk every day to get the endorphins flowing and lower my expectations on having to always be so together- like just picking a couple of things to do each day that are simple to accomplish. Make sure you are taking vitamins, usually people don't eat right, including myself, when they feel this way so at least try to take care of yourself physically. Schedule an appointment with your doctor and get a full physical to rule out any thyroid problems, and most of all- don't be hard on yourself about what you are feeling. I would also take time to do just non-productive things like sudoku puzzles etc...whatever distracting activity you enjoy to give your thoughts a rest. Don't think too much about "why this is happening" or "I'm losing my spirit" because that just makes you feel crazy. When you start thinking that, turn on the tv, go check the mail or take a bath. When you are already on survival mode, it does little good to expend excess energy questioning your lack of motivation or your worth. When things fall apart, it's because those things aren't working- and this can actually be a good thing although difficult to realize. I wish you the best and hope I've helped.
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