A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I are separated, almost divorced, and waiting for our house to sell. She lives there, I live in a condo. Money is VERY tight. I pay half her bills and half the mortgage. I visit my son there at least every other weekend and some weeknights.When I'm at the house, she is gradually prohibiting me more and more from using certain rooms, using any food or "dwelling" there any more than necessary. I'm pissed, because I have legal rights to the house, and I pay half of everything. Yet every time I use the gym equipment or "her" bathroom, she asks me not to.She's taken my stuff out of common areas and thrown it in boxes and put them in "my room" (the guest room) without my consent. But if I move anything, she throws a fit.What do I do? She's very bitter lately because I have a girlfriend, and I know she knows. But this persecution when I visit isn't fair. She often leaves and spends the weekend with her mother, but it is still problematic. I dont want to build rules into the divorce agreement that are too strict, but you think she would accept that I have rights to the house.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): If you have learned council why are you here asking us about the legalities of your impending dissolution.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): A) I am not divorced, and in the diivorce agreement, everything hinges on the sale of the house. My name is on the deed, so yes, I own the property too.
B) I pay half the bills because she cannot afford to herself, and my son lives there. I don't want to force them out on the street, plus it will kill me since I own the house too. You cant just not pay bills.
c) I visit him there because my condo does not have an extra bedroom and my girlfriend lives with me. He has not met her, because I'm afraid of retalliation from the wife until the divorce is final.
D) I obviously have a lawyer. This arrangement is both necessary and better for us and my son. As I said, she cannot support him in this house on alimony and child support. And you cant just sell a house lickety split in this economy.
E) the house is up for sale. No offers in 6 months.
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A
male
reader, faenon  +, writes (9 January 2011):
 I can understand paying half the mortgage still and alimony but why on earth are you paying half her bills when you no longer reside there? I'd be having words with your lawyer why do you see the son at the house whats wrong with bringing him to the condo to spend time with you?
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A
male
reader, jkirk +, writes (9 January 2011):
If you are not divorced and have no court order, the house is just as much your as it is hers. If there is a court order then you and her must abide by it. If you don't have a lawyer get one NOW, or you WILL get screwed, and not even kissed aferwards.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): If she is the mother of your son and he lives there it is the right thing to do. The best you will get is to have her sell it and you get half the equity. Or have her refinace the house and get your name off the title.
It's not about you and her. It's about the needs of children.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 January 2011):
I would suggest that you very carefully speak to your lawyer, because I've never heard of a case where a divorced couple have rights to houses. Even if you're paying for the house, you need to be sure that you actually have rights.
You seriously need to speak to your lawyer.
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