A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My husband was transferred 2 months ago and we now live close to his married brother. My sister in law is a real bitch towards me and treats me in a condescending manner, she also flirts with my husband and hangs all over him when she's had too much wine, which I ignore, as I realise she wants a reaction out of me and I won't give her that pleasure. We have always visited at their house,and now I have told my husband that i am refusing to go there again, if his brother wants to visit with him, he can come to our house to see him. They are both coming to visit us this weekend, i have just found out, so I plan to be the perfect hostess and be my usual polite self, to show her up to her own husband, for the person she is. Am I doing the right thing? If i was a bitch, i could give her a dose of her own medicine and flirt with her husband, but i am better than that. Please help, and thanx in advance.
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female
reader, Marlene +, writes (2 December 2005):
I agree with Irish she just gave you the best answer. You don't solve this problem reacting in the same way. Your husband must support you and face the situation with his brother. That for me is the best approach. I jus had the same case with one of my husband's friends and what I did was talk to my husband, explain to him that I consider that behavior disrespectful (it is NOT about jealousy), now that I informed my husband that I have noticed that situation and thay I don't like it at all, I just decided to get this friendship as distant as possible. Don't feel this is just you imagination, sometimes when men get some ego boost out of this situations they try to deny it. Be calm and clear when you talk to you husband about it. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2005): Your feelings are not wrong, but they are getting in the way of having normal family relationships with this couple. Do I think it is an ideal circumstance? No. I think it stinks. When you marry someone, however, you marry the family and sometimes, the bad behaviours that go with that.
Your sister in law sounds like a very sad, angry person. I give you credit for handling this awkward situation with graciousness and good manners. It shows you are a classy lady. What about your husband in all this? Your husband should be the one to cope with keeping his family, in line. After all, it is his brother's wife. I do think it might be a good idea to talk to hubby and have him chat to his brother about his wife's behaviour. You husband should know how uncomfortable it makes you feel and how disrespectful it is to you and him. The sister in law likes to play cruel games with people's lives and her husband should tell her to tow the line.
If she refuses to stop her behaviour, you protect your family unit by stepping away from this problem family member and limiting your contact. The happiness and well-being of you, your husband and immediate family should come first. Good luck with all this...it's not an easy situation. Stay happy and take care
Hugs,
Irish
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