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age
26-29,
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writes: My sister and I have the worst relationship imaginable. We argue constantly and I'm not saying it's always her fault but she does bring on the majority of our fights. Ever since we were kids she's been a total control freak, everyone says I'm really laid back and relaxed and that she's obsessive and controlling about everything and I always shrugged it off and laughed about it, but now it's getting on my nerves! I can't take her anymore, in fact no one in my house can take her anymore, we just want her to move out. What I'm asking is difficult when it comes to her. She gets annoyed over the smallest things and tries to control everything I do. But the one thing that really gets me is when she dictates my every movement and thought, she actually tells me what I'm thinking and she's never right. If you've ever had it done to you then you'll know how annoying it is. Our arguments consist of petty little things and build up and up and up until I explode and yell at her.My mum has actually got to the same point as me, only she's almost having a break down over it where I just blow up over it all, and everyone now brings me into the arguments. My mum can't argue with my sister anymore, my sister is out of control, she squared up to my mum and shows absolutely no respect to anyone and my dad's never home due to work. I've started arguing with my sister for my own reasons and for my mum because she can't take it anymore but needs someone that can stand and yell as loud as my sister and won't back down. But the problem is, I'm not that sort of a person and because of my sister acting like this I'm worried I'm getting irritated by everyone that talks to me because I'm so used to her saying and doing things so when someone else does it I flip.Does anyone have any ideas of how to stay calm in these situations? If I can stay calm around my sister I think I will be a lot calmer with other people. So any ideas please? Sorry it's long, thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your comments and opinions, it's true ignoring her is hard and it's not through lack of trying. But I will continue to try. Thank you
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 she older than you? 2 teenage girls in a house can be a recipe for disaster. when you get older and move out you may even become great friends! in the meantime, just make sure you give each other PLENTY of space. stop making your poor mum be the referee, you are not little children, you should be able to speak to each other civilly or be grown up enough to know when to walk away from a heated situation. if not - learn. you are snapping at other people coz your sister has got you stressed out. it may be no comfort to you know but just remember - it will not be this way forever, when your teenage hormones have settled down you will both feel differently and be calmer
x
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 hi,
First off you don't need to take on the role of parent. If you Mom can't handle being the parent and your Dad is away so much then your Mom and Dad need to seek out some counselling to strengthen their parenting skills and how to better handle your disrespectful controlling sister.
Your parent doing nothing is not helping.
However there are some things you can try to address your controlling sister. Don't yell, don't make a scene.
If she is becoming irrational poke some fun at her. Let's call her 'Laura' (get sick of choosing Mary)Stand up, gather your things, give her a bored look and tell her, 'Laura you are so tall for a two year old' and walk out the room. No raised voice, no flouncing off, no huffing. Instead you then ignore her like she barely worthy your consideration.
But if she sounds semi rational, then give her an assertive statement:
'Laura when you speak to me sharply and call me a ''........'' I feel disrespeted by you and that makes me feel '''..........''. As a
result I would like you to stop using inflammatory disrespectful language to me.
There may be some family counselling, involving everyone that might help.
You need better support at home. Because your sister is wrong to behave in this way.
Your sister knows you enough to know which buttons to press to get you riled. It is mean and spiteful of your sister to bully you in the ways that she does.
The Citizen's Advice Bureau has some amazing resources. So perhaps walk into to speak to a person there, to find out what pamphlets or other resouces they might have to help?
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (30 July 2011):
 I dont realy have any advice, but thats kind of how it is in my house. My sister is an annoying little pest, and will do anything to irritate me! She always wants me to do everything for her but never ever is nice to me in return! If your sister is like that, like she wants to irritate you all the time like mine, i find the best way to deal with her is to just ignore her. It can be very hard to do, or even just walk out of the room when she winds you up.
I hope this helps x
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