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My pregnant girlfriend says she want's to be a single mum

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2006) 8 Answers - (Newest, 6 August 2006)
A male , *teph's boy writes:

i'm 17 and my gf is 15. she has just found out that she is pregnant. we did have safe sex but obviously not safe enough. we have been seeing each other for almost two years now and i'll admit that i love her very much. she says that she is going to have the baby and i'm happy about that cause i didn't want her to have an abortion but i would have supported her if she did. anyway she has told me to leave her and go and find someone else who wont tie me down which i dont think she is doing anyway and i dont want anyone else, she won't answer the phone or see me now. one of her friends has told me that she said she doesn't want to mess up my future.

how i can make her see that she isn't going to mess up my future?

help

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A male reader, steph's boy +, writes (6 August 2006):

steph's boy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks everyone for ur advice it really did help. as i said i did write her a letter. i told her that i loved her and wanted to take responsibility for the baby wether we were together or not. she read the letter and phoned me to meet her. we met and had a heart to heart. she said that she loved me too much to want to make me feel trapped which she really believed she had done. she had decided that it was all her fault that she was pregnant. we talked for hours and i eventually managed to make her see that she isn't trapping me and that i had i bit to do with her getting pregnant as well and that i would be there every step of the way with her. things r good now. we know that we're very young to b having a baby and that it will b hard but at least we'll face the hard times together. we r looking forward to the arrival of our baby in march. thanks again for all ur advice.

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A female reader, Thachorie +, writes (6 August 2006):

Thachorie agony auntShe is incredibly young to have a child and is probably very scared, although you think hse is your future she more than likely just doesnt want to get hurt, now that she has a reason for you to be together she may think that you will feel pressured to stay with her which would cause an unhappy life for the both of you. Write her a letter explaining but dont try to patronise her by telling her you know how she feels as she wont like that, just be there for her, its your problem as well as hers. Work through it and try to resolve things.

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A male reader, steph's boy +, writes (2 August 2006):

steph's boy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i have wrote her a letter, well more like an essay so i just have to wait and see

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A female reader, footy fan +, writes (2 August 2006):

obviously this girl cant see that she is ur future. try and ring her parents explaining the situation you are in and also speak to your own they will help you as much as you need them to.

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A female reader, bodylotion +, writes (1 August 2006):

bodylotion agony auntIt is obvious this girl doesn't want you and she is now using the baby as an excuse.But the baby is yours and even if you and the babies mother arn't together you still have rites to see this child.If you cant get in touch with her is there no way yo can speak to her parents?Mabe they will understand also you could try writing a letter explaining but if she says NO then she obviously means it.Just dont forget that YOU and HER both have a baby weather she likes it or not.And mabe in the near futer she may consider getting back with you but just because she is pregnant dont do all the running.

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A female reader, Tine United Kingdom +, writes (31 July 2006):

Tine agony aunthow about writing her a letter and giving it to her, if she wont see you and she wont answer your calls then this seems the only option. She is probable thinking that this will ruin your life and thats why she has done this. But you need to let her know one way or the other, exactly how you feel about this baby coming. Maybe it will calm her nerves abit by knowing that you will be there every step of the way!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2006):

Just continue to be there for her, and do the things you think is right. Read up on parenthood, go to your parents for advice if they already know and accept it. Ask a counselor, ask your doctor. Do whatever is necessary to give her emotional and physical support.

Over time, she may stop being so premature in her thoughts and just accept you.

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A female reader, Seratuki United States +, writes (31 July 2006):

Seratuki agony auntHi,

She's very young to be having a baby, and she's probably terrified. All you can do is be there, don't push too hard or she'll resent you, but just try to show her how you feel.

If worse comes to worse, you do have legal rights to see the child, and you'd do best to get some legal advice.

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