A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I have a partner and 2 children my oldest child is from a previous relationship he works through the day he comes home I go to work my son who is the oldest tells me that his dad shouts at our daughter and tells her to shut up I have mentioned this to him before and he stopped but has now started again she is only 4 and a amazing clever little girl how do I get him to stop shouting at her I feel like walking away from the relationship thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2019): I'm a mum and this post sends chills down my spine.
For goodness sake, if there is even the slightest shred of evidence - and there is - that this man is shouting at your daughter then you MUST leave immediately. For your daughter to experience this will be crippling, for the rest of her life; early experiences of abuse (which is what this is) RUIN lives.
Get her away from him. I don't know what you are thinking by not doing so immediately. If you don't you effectively become her abuser as well, by failing to protect her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2019): Your son is telling you because he can see it is wrong. I would opt for a secret camera because your daughter is not going to really be able to describe in detail what he does and how it affects her. Sadly it might be worse than you think, you need to know for sure and take action!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2019): You said my partner shouts at my daughter how do I get him to stop. You leave him.For once in your life you put your daughter first. The question I have for you is why you would stay with any man who emotionally abused your child.I do not understand why.Is he that good in bed?Well then just get a toy.I know I sound harsh but as a mother myself I always put my child first.I would never expose them to harm.So why do you?Please put your child first and dump the abuser.If you do not be ready to spring for all the therapy bills your gonna have in the future for her because all this abusive yelling will mess her up i promise you that.Be a good mom.Do not let your daughter suffer another day.leave him and get you and your child the help you need.remember cps has removed children from homes for less.If you stay with him someone might report this abuse and that would be the right thing to do if you stay with the abuser.Think....which is more important to you a abusive dick or your daughter.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2019): The child will be seriously affected by the aggression and bullying. A grown-man shouldn't get that angry at a little kid. He shouldn't be shouting at anyone.
You need to walk-away if you have addressed this issue and he refuses to stop. It's not his biological child; so he hasn't bonded enough to feel emotion for her. He doesn't have a filter or the patience to control his temper when dealing with little ones. So he has to go.
A full-grown man should not have anger issues with you, or your child. Why would he shout at her and not you? Did you leave-out something here?
How a man controls his temper; and the measure of his level of patience is a deal-breaker. Testing his restraint isn't safe for either of you.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 January 2019):
 Walk away from the relationship. If its so bad your son feels a need to protest his sister, then listen.
Ask your girl. Does «daddy» get angry with her? What happens then? How does she feel when this happens. Just ask her, and help her with the words. I was a victim of child abuse, and looking back, I just wish someone would have asked me about what happens when daddy gets angry. And I wish someone had told me it wasnt ok to scream, yell, scare, pull, drag, slap etc. You need to tell her what adults are allowed to do and not do.
If he screams at her, litterally, then no doubt this is abusive and will get worse. If you are hesistant, please install camera to see/hear for yourself what happens.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 January 2019):
 I think you need to have ACTUAL proof. So I'd buy a little nanny cam or two and see what ACTUALLY is going on.
Of course he shouldn't SHOUT at her. A 4 year old or really at ANY age.
You will have a better idea of what is happening and show him proof of his behavior. Also, maybe you need to talk to him about HOW he handles frustration with the kids, how to best discipline etc.
Maybe also consider that he is DEAD tired after a full day of work, so MAYBE once or twice a week get a baby sitter in, so he can take a couple of hours kids free?
Find some simple HOW TO books on healthy discipline, read then, high light what you would like to see happening and then GIVE them to him and talk about it.
If it doesn't stop, well then you need to consider your next step.
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