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writes:My partner want to move out... he has been in depression for 2 years... He has started counceling but after 4 months quit, because he felt the councelor was really not helping..He is taking 150 ml of zoloft. He has been saying that he is numb, not feelings, and has axziety. He was angry most of the time before the meds... The meds has taken his anger, while that was a good thing. But now he says he is just numb. I know meds make you forget, and not feel. He says he cant look at me because he feels guilt of what he is doing to me. He feels he has nothing left to give. And when i try to make him feel loved, he says he does not deserve love because is is not giving me what I need. I am desvestated. He is the love of my life... the thought of loosing him just tears my heart into a thousand pieces. He wants to move out this week.. He has been my love for 8 years. What do I do? He does not want to get off the meds. I dont want to loose him! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (27 November 2012):
Hi dear,
I suffered from depression and numbness as well, it almost ruined my relationship so I know how it feels to be like this. I couldn't feel love, only guilt and shame and feeling completely useless.
The other ones are right, tell him to try and change medication. And add psychotherapy again, because medication alone won't help you in the long run, he needs to figure out what gets him so depressed. I had to try 3 therapists before I found the right one that would help me.
Try to stay healthy yourself and not getting sucked into the same hole (ok I know this is hard). Tell him that you're there and that you don't expect anything back for the moment. Tell him that this depression can go over, that he didn't try out all therapeutic possibilities yet. Try to focus on practical things like getting him to a doctor and counsellor again.
Also, maybe you can make the net that supports him - and you - bigger by getting in contact with his family and friends. You shouldn't have to carry this all alone.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 November 2012):
 IF he is numb he is on the wrong meds. He needs to let his doctor know how he feels... NUMB is not good... EVEN is good... is he sure he's not just EVEN? those of us that are used to mood swings sometimes find EVEN to feel NUMB...
meds don't make you forget and not feel... if they do they are the wrong meds.
HE NEEDS TO CALL THE DOCTOR and CHANGE MEDICATIONS... there are other drugs other than ZOLOFT that he can try.
he will need to be weaned OFF the zoloft and on the new meds...
finding the right drug cocktail can take weeks and months and it's horrible. I'm going through it right now... and the side effects are sucky...
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reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (27 November 2012):
 It sounds as if he needs some adjustment to his medication as feeling numb for any length of time is not good and not really addressing the reasons for his depression.
It's very difficult to encourage someone to seek help again when they have become so detached and if they are pulling away at the same time, but he does need to go back to his doctor and let them know that his treatment isn't working. He could be at risk if he moves away from familiar surroundings so it's worth suggesting to him that the way he is feeling might be helped by a visit to the doctor.
If he refuses, there isn't much you can do directly but seeking help from a depression/suicide hotline might give you some suggestions of how to help him further.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): I know how you feel. My ex partner was on zoloft and avanza for depression and anxiety. He described numbness too and had panic attacks as well. I thought I could love him through it but I was wrong...they are in a place of darkness alone...my ex said the same things too...feelings of unworthiness and asking why I wanted to be with someone like him and that he had nothing to offer me....we did break up a few months ago and I miss him but I can tell you its a journey they are on alone....I am sorry for you...I hope you can get strength to get through it sooner than later....not sure my blurb is of any help...just sharing my experience..
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