A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hallow, m a 27 years old female, got this guy thru a certain website and we are dating online, chat frequenlty, he gave me his mobile number and sometimes calls me and send me text messages,it has been a month now since i have known him, he seems to be humble and sincere, now he wants to come and visit me here in Tanzania, he lives in dubai, m worried that i dnt know him that much, though he told me a lot about himself, so, should i allow him to visit me? or i wait for a while? how will i be able to know if he is married or not, though he told me that he is single.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): I can't seem to find a people search agency in your country - I live in the U.S.Do you know anybody else who might possibly know him? Or know something about him?WAIT A MINUTE! Ask him to give you his HOME phone number. Do you know if he lives with his parents, or does he have his own home? If he has his own apartment or home, then try calling him on his home number. If he has told you he lives on his own, and a woman answers, then I'd wonder if he was being truthful in telling you he's single (of course, its possible that it might be his sister visiting him).I'm not saying your friend is not honest and upfront with you. Not at all.What I am urging is that you be very cautious before going any further. If you DO decide to meet him, then take it nice and slow.Make sure he stays in a hotel (not with you) and don't go to see him at the hotel (which of course means don't go to his room). Meet him somewhere public - a restaurant, for instance, and arrive and leave on your own. Don't invite him to YOUR home either - UNLESS you live with your parents and they will be present.As the other aunts and uncles have said, pay attention to your gut feeling, and use common sense! If you are unsure about this, WAIT before meeting him!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): The general rule of thumb in a relationship is: When you are in doubt - DON'T.What this means is that if you have these feelings of being unsure and don't know him all that well (yes a month is a very brief time. Have you spoken with him on the phone? If you have, what kind of impression have you formed about him?), then you should not invite him to visit. Not yet.You MIGHT want to try running a people search on Google and check out his name and the address/phone number he has given you. That will at least tell you if he lives where he says he does.Additionally, you could have a background check done on him, to find out if he's married, has a criminal record, etc.I'll see if I can find (background check agency in Tanzania and will add the website to this post.........
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): Hi hunni,
I think that if your not sure about meeting this guy, then don't meet him yet. It's better to be 100% sure about him then to meet him and discover things about him that you don't like, then it's harder to say that you don't wanna stay in contact. Leave it another week or two or whenever you feel ready to meet him. When you're 100% sure that you want to meet him, then do! xx
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (14 September 2007):
 Usually if you have these thoughts about meeting someone, you need to wait a bit longer until you are absolutely sure.
Not saying anything bad would happen out of the meeting, but many people before something bad happens, they get a gut feeling about it. If your initial feeling is to wait, that's what you need to do. There's not rush in having to meet someone.
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