A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: hi, i've just started work three weeks ago at a new place. on my first day, when i was introduced to colleagues, they just looked up from their work and nodded. there are five people i have to work directly with, only one of whom is friendly. the other four are the type of people i dislike; cliquey, immature, rude and lacking social skills. at my last place of work, i would try so hard to be nice and chatty to new people- even at work today, a new girl started today in another dept and i went over and said "hi, are you new? good to meet you.." whilst my other colleagues ignored her. they dont let me join in conversations, if i do, i'm met with minimal response. i've not had any help or induction at work and i'm instead left at the mercy of these people, who are supposed to be "supportive". theyre not horrible to me per se, or verbally, they just seem to ignore me. i'm not like them, i'm single, chatty, and i have a good academic background and i'm younger, and i think they think i'm actually just crap at my job, but in fact i feel self conscious and awkward and as though i've had no training. the person before me left suddenly. today they saw his picture and were saying " oh i hate him, he makes me sick.." (this guy had only worked there 3 weeks so clearly had not done anything) i asked about him, in a way to open up a conversation i.e "so.. he wasn't here very long then?" they said " yeah whatever, we're not talking about HIM" i thought they were joking, and said " no really, he was here a month then?" they said " we're not speaking about him. who cares anyway?" i was shocked at how pathetic and immature these people were being- theyre in their 30s and are all mums. they have no social skills and live for their jobs, and see me as a new person as being "in the way". an example of the kind of thing they will do is bring cakes in for a birthday, and not offer me one, or even tell me theyre there, even though i know what they are. leave me out of coffees. they'll say "what are you doing tonight?" to each other, but discount me from the conversation. and its starting to make me feel self conscious and as if i cant do my job now. i cant even complain to anybody, because i think its their personalities, and theyve all been there at least 3 years. i wonder if i'm doing something wrong, but i know its not me; my previous colleagues described me as down to earth, fun, and easy to get along with, and in my last temp job, the people i worked in an office with wanted me to stay on. a new boy at my last job, said i was really nice and so helpful, to my manager. i don't know why these people are like this, other people at my workplace seem fine. if after three weeks, i feel this negatively, given i have to work in a team, should i resign myself to looking for another job?
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female
reader, jess1982 +, writes (17 March 2009):
i am in the same boat, and i am desperatley searching for a new job.
today for example, one of them came around and asked everyone out to the pub bar me!
the only person i get on with is the lady i sit next to, and the boss, who has to be impartial.
chin up though! bunch of jelous witches we work with!
A
female
reader, Gem86 +, writes (7 November 2008):
 I have to say, I was in a similar situation a few months ago. So I would suggest a couple of things:I presume from your question that you're a temp? This means that this job is only temporary, so you wont be there forever.You will make friends with someone - at my last job i literally felt like i had no one for the first month, but eventually i made some lovely friends, i miss them now.u If you can, go to different departments or talk to people in the staff room who you dont recognise, at least then youre broadening the people you know.Start looking for another job now. Just incase you still hate it in a few weeks - always good to have a back up plan!! :)Temping is hard, youre always moving from company to company, but at least youve had the experience of being in a different kind of office environment. I guess all I can say is youre learning from it, and youre getting more jobs to add to you CV! Good Luck! x
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (6 November 2008):
 From my experience, the most friendly workplaces are when you are all young together. Otherwise things can be hit and miss.
I would play things by ear, and you could still settle in.
I don't know if some of this is because people are busy, both in their work, and wrapped up in everyday things out of work. On that note people can also appear false always asking what you are having for dinner tonight and little more if you see what I mean.
Chances are, you have plenty of friends out of work, and a boyfriend, so stick with what you know.
If friendships follow in work, they will naturally, or otherwise.
It might be an environment where they don't really socialise much, who knows.
Good luck.
Fiona.
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