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female
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anonymous
writes: What is the law when it comes to violence towards your children? My mother has an appauling temper and she hit me. However i don't feel as though i can do anything about it as i hit her back. It wasn't deliberate exactly, it was just on impulse, that when someone hits me i hit them straight back without thinking. After that she hit me again so i got out of the house and have been living with my boyfriend for 3 days. Now i'm back she's acting as if nothing happened.In the past she has done other things. About a year ago she threw an iron at me. It didn't quite hit me but it was thrown with force as there is a dent in the floor where it landed next to me. I remember around 5 years ago when my older brother still lived at home she threw plates and mugs at him, and they smashed on the floor around him, but i don't remember if any of them ever hit him.I don't feel safe in my own home. Am i over-reacting? And i am 16 and about to start college, is there any financial system (in the UK) that would help fund some place else for me to live?
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female
reader, DrPsych  + ♥, writes (29 July 2006):
 The law on child protection (physical abuse) in the UK clearly states that adults using physical force in the way you describe is illegal. It is a matter for the police and social services. You can call the NSPCC helpline for some support and advice. You should also get in touch with your local social services office - they will be able to offer you counselling, housing and advice on welfare benefits. At 16 you are eligible to claim certain DSS and council benefits. Don't worry about getting your mother into trouble because you may find that it is the best favour you ever did her. She maybe under a lot of pressure, have mental health problems or anger management issues that require professional help - social workers will be able to talk through the various options with her.
A
female
reader, helpful girl +, writes (28 July 2006):
 there is places like hostels, i think the law is now that your not allowed to hit your children i once went through the same situation as you but my mom was acting through beer every time she was drunk id get beat up 4 it, i went to an hostel at 17 it was going to cost me 7pnd a week i didnt have that kind of money. she even chucked me out on xmas eve. i slept on the street. people told me if i reported her to the solicitor that i would be put in a foster home. so i didnt do that but adventually time saved me. i feel sorry for you as i know what its like. if you have any friends that can put you up for a bit that would be a help. or maybe you should find a full time job were you wont ardly be around your mom or stay out more with friends. try to keep out your moms way as much as you can. or when she gets angry walk out and stay out the house for a few hours. then when you turn 18 try and get a councill place. anything else you want to talk about you know where i am.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2006): No. That's really not on, and it's not right.She shouldn't be literally throwing this sort of abuse at you. Spanking is fine, but this sort of abuse is against the law.You haven't said how old she is, but she may be going through the menopause and throwing things to get rid of her anger. If this is the case, she's going to be very emotional. My mum wouldn't throw things, but she'd bang around in the kitchen, making as much noise as possible.I'm not justifying your mum's actions though, she's no excuse to act like this, whatever her motive.Is there another member of the family such as your brother that you can confide in so you're not alone on this?If she starts on you again, I would strongly suggest moving with your boyfriend. Keep an overnight bag packed and ready so you can pick it up and leave as soon as she starts, and tell your mum you're not returning until she stops being so violent for the long term.I hope this helps you a bit, get in contact if you need any more advice. xxx
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