A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i'm married for a year now and i actually have a great life with my husband. we decided not to have kids the first years of our marriage and especially now that i have a chance of promotion in my work for which i worked very hard fir the past four years. the problem is that my mother in law is this person who thinks that she's still in charge of her kids and she even thinks that she will be in charge of me. and thinks that by mentioning every ones in the week that women are meant to be mothers and that i should have kids as soon as possible, she will change my mind. which has nothing to do with 'my mind' but its me and my husbands choice not to have kids we want to plan our life and the pregnancy. and when she makes those stupid remarks he just shouts his mouth as if she never talks those stupid things. after that we fight all the time because i want him to talk to her. i want him to tell her that this is our life and our choice and has to deal with that fact. he thinks that i'm being spoiled and i should just ignore her. should i do that? or should he keep my side in this situation? am i really just acting bitchy? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 January 2014):
 Why can't YOU tell her to stop making those remarks ? Why do you need a paladin to defend your position, you can do it yourself if it bothers you that much. Your husband is not upset or annoyed by those remarks, YOU are. If it's really such a big problem, take her aside and tell her, politely but firmly, what you have told us : that you and your husband have opted for a few years of child free life , that this is your common decision, it's not up for discussion or challenge, end of story.
But, I'd agree with your husband, just ignore her , change subject when she brings up kids , and she'll get tired . After all, what is she doing ? she is just expressing her opinion that women are born to be mothers, it may be an old fashioned , out of touch opinion, it may be an opinion you strongly disagree with- and I understand how it can be annoying to hear it repeated often- but, at the end of the day, people do NOT have the obligation to only say what you agree with and what you want to hear, they can speak their mind . If you are offended by her speaking her mind, then tell her and ask her to please stop.
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