A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:i have had a problem with my mother and sister since i got married two years ago. my mother and sister complain all the time saying they do not feel close to my wife. my wife is a loving person however has a different personality which they can not accept. my sister is always making friction which i can't tolerate anymore. i keep on telling them to accept the way she is and to move on. it's very hurtful that they can't accept my wife for who she is and it's making me upset. the bottom line is that my sister is not happy with my wife so i am the one who has to suffer. what can i do?..i'm stressed out and can't deal with this anymore.
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (16 November 2007):
 Your marriage is in trouble, and YOU are the one that has to take control.
You state: the bottom line is that my sister is not happy with my wife so i am the one who has to suffer.
Why does your sister have this much influence on your life? Your wife (mother of your children future?) is your priority.
Fact is they may just be jealous of the attention you give your wife, that you are no longer giving them.
They do not HAVE to feel close to her. They simply must RESPECT her relation to you and respect the boundaries of their expectations.
Put your foot down, and cut them out from any attention if they continue this immature emotional blakmail.
-Frank B Kermit
what can i do?..i'm stressed out and can't deal with this anymore.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): Your sister sounds like the type of person who likes to start trouble. And I doubt that she would "approve" of your wife, no matter who your wife were. So I would honestly just tell your sister the next time she starts talking about your wife that you don't want to hear it. And if she continues anyway, walk away. Tell her you won't put up with this any longer. It is not fair to you or your wife. I assume your wife feels worse than you do about all of this. Tell them they better find someone else to gossip about because you won't stnad there and take it. Tell them she's a part of the family and if they don't like it, they can get used to the idea of not having you in their live's. It may sound harsh but if you didn't allow for this to go on, would it be?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): You're stressed?? I can well imagine what your wife must be feeling as it's YOUR relatives that are giving her grief. Keep policing your own family boundries, man. You may have to be very, very strong on this point. Tell Mom and Sis, that they don't have to like her but they better treat her with respect, but say it with conviction and if they even show one inkling of 'tearing' your wife down. Walk away because that means; If your Mother and your sister do not want to 'respect and honor' YOU enough, to accept your wife (as is) into the family, fold (quirks, quarks and all) All you can do from thereonin, is to step back and emotionally detach from Mom and Sis here. You don't cut them out of your life, you just don't see them as much. You protect your wife...plain and simple. Look it, your wife is number one..she makes you happy. And she is who she is and I bet my bottom dollar she is not trying to win a popularity contest here. So just accept that she is not liked by your family members and carry on, with 'your' family. Meaning your wife and any kids that may her, yours or both of yours. But before you do, you set some boundaries with Mom/Sis about how you expect your wife to be treated. When they insult her...they insult you. Remember that!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): heya mate
you kno what, if your wife is a loving person and has given your sister and mom a chance, then i reckon your sister and mom should back off because not everybody is the same.
you married your lady, and im glad that you are sticking up for her, youre golden for backing your wifes case!
why dont you invite your mom and sister over for lunch more often or dinner, suggest girlie nights? get them to interact more..
however, if your sister and mom simply do not like your wife then im afraid they are being very unfair, and you need to tell them to either grow up or back off!
keep it cool, i reckon your sister is just a little jelous and probably thinks her brother has been taken away from her..sit um all down..tell them you love them..ask them to get on with your wife..and like i said above..if your sister and mom do not lisen..tell um to back off..good luck and god bless x x friend
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