A
female
age
26-29,
*oxozed
writes:Dear Cupid, My mom is being so protective over me ! I have a boyfriend, we're both fourteen and madly in love with each other. I thought telling her the truth that i have a boyfriend would be so much better but it turned out worse ! Whenever i go out, she would always ask me where I'm going and who I'm going with. I am just getting so annoyed of her ! She thinks i am too immature and young to have a boyfriend right now. Everytime i ask her why can't I be in a relationship, she would always say I am way too young and I need to focus on my education more. She just doesn't understand me ! She thinks she can stop me from going out with my boyfriend if she stops giving me allowance and making me stay home. But I love my boyfriend so much, i just can't stop seeing him ! I would still sneak out and stuff but I just don't want to continue this, i just want to go out with her knowing I am going out with my boyfriend. Is there any way to make my mom to be less protective and just let me try on my own because i know this is part of growing up ! I would never learn if I don't make any mistakes or whatever. So please help me ! Thanks a lot ! 3
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (9 July 2010):
 lol... I'm impressed, most young people never write as back, and never take our advice..
Tip: Just try to do well and be considerate. Your mother will start becoming happier and will love the change in you. When she starts praising you, then tell her it's your (boy)friend, say he's a good influence on you. She might start thinking about him differently when she sees how much you've changed and in a good way.
Good luck, again, I'm very impresed :)
A
female
reader, xoxozed +, writes (8 July 2010):
xoxozed is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for the great advices ! I am actually doing pretty good at school though, i am getting 80's for my average but I guess I will keep improving to impress her more : )! Furthermore, i know it is bad to sneak out with my boyfriend behind her back so may be I will try to compromise with her and things just might work out fine : D!To Miamine, i think my mother doesnt want me to date because i am way too young and immature. I totally understand that so may be i will start doing chores or help around the house to make my mother think that I am growing into a more mature person . Thank you for your advice : )!
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (8 July 2010):
People that pay bills make the laws.. your mother doesn't want you dating because she is frightened your education will suffer and she's scared you'll start having sex young and get pregnant.
Change your attitude, instead of fighting her, try to impress her. Study hard and get to the top of the class, get yourself a hobby, even better join a club where you might be able to meet your boyfriend. Do your chore's and help arround the house. If you wanted to be treated like you are mature, then start acting more responsible.
Sneaking arround behind your mothers back just proves that your too immature to start dating yet. Instead of thinking about yourself and what you want, start thinking about your mother and why she is frightened for you.
Answer this question... "why dosen't your mother want you to date at 14".... I would love to know your answer so please update your post.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 July 2010):
I love it when teenagers claim their parents "don't understand". Oh yes your mother DOES understand. What do you think she did when she was a teenager? Exactly what you did. And what do you think happened? It all went wrong. She knows as well as the rest of us that the first, most important thing that you can focus on is your education. She can't stop you seeing him, but other guys will come along. The chance to get a good education won't. She understands all too well. So quit thinking she doesn't understand, and look at this logically. You're a young girl, and like all young people you'll want to be out there with a boyfriend. But you need to be focused on your work, or you'll be doing menial jobs for your life if you screw up. So compromise. For every two nights you do work, see him once.
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A
male
reader, iluvsox  +, writes (8 July 2010):
I find this very humorous as this sounds like my sister to a lesser extreme. However, you have to understand that your mother has gone through the exact same things as you. Everyone goes through the stage you're in at the moment, the "puppy love" stage. Yes you think you love said boyfriend, but in reality that's not love. It's called infatuation. I feel that many people use "love" wrongly nowadays.
However, back to the topic at hand: No, there isn't any way for your mother to be less protective. She will always be that way. As for your education, she has a right to want you to focus on that instead... she's paying for it! The reason that parents want us to succeed is so we don't have to go through some of the hardships our parents have gone through. She's looking out for your wellbeing.
Come back in a few months and we'll see if you're still dating the boy you're "madly in love with." Chances are you won't be, as those relationships don't last more than a few months tops normally.
Sorry if this doesn't help, but it's all I've got.
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A
male
reader, Ajexc +, writes (8 July 2010):
See if you can come to some compromise on the situation, make it clear that you will unfortunately just end up sneaking out but you don't want to do this, as you do not want to be dishonest with them. You can arrange for an agreement on how much time you spend with your boyfriend etc...
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