A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i'm mad at my friend but can't seem to figure it out. he will reach out, make connection, we are close at times, then he will just ignore me. i'm feeling jerked around and sick of it. when we talk he seems genuine and we have great conversations, he opens up to me, me with him. but then he ignores my texts for days and i don't hear from him and it just drives me nuts. it's like we're close but then not close, close without commitment? i've read about fallback girls. i really care about him and enjoy the good parts, but i'm getting sick of this, and then i want to pull away and reject him, bc it feels he is rejecting me in a way, and also to preserve myself. is there is a way to deal with this to protect myself besides the obvious ending of the relationship?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bournedout +, writes (8 May 2010):
If you guys were just "casual friends" then his coming and going would not really be a big deal. You should have other friends and just feel comfortable hanging with them for a while. When he "comes back" and you are busy with other friends, then you don't need to feel obligated to get back to him right away.
It's not easy being close friends with the opposite sex at your age, I think. There may be another underlying dynamic here. It could be a part of you (and maybe even him) feels the stirrings of something more than friendship. That can add to the confusion. He might be pulling away for that reason. Then again, he may be just like you said -- he has love interests but sometimes needs your friendship when things are rocky.
How do you *really* feel about him? You may need to pull back yourself. You may be getting a little beyond friendship in your feelings. It is no fun playing second fiddle. If he ignores you, then you may need to move on. If you have the courage, you could have an honest talk -- "Look, I really care about you. But I don't want to be here at your convenience just when you are lonely. It makes me feel crappy."
Positive vibes to you -- I've been on the other side of that kind of relationship. I was probably a jerk too.
|
