A
female
age
36-40,
*iss williamz
writes:I have been in along distance relationship for 2 years but since this year started we have been fighting a lot. January this year I met a man we have been chatting. My problem is my boyfriend has changed, he's so distant he barely texts me. He calls me once a day and rarely tells me he loves me. So the other night we had a fight. After 2 days after he didn't even look for me. I officially accepted the other guy. My problem is this guy is coming to see me in May and I don't know should we get intimate? Since it's our first date and we've been talking. Advise me people.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Im in a long distance relationship and me and my girlfriend have our problems for instance, me and her can barely talk cause of her dad. I think its been about 3 weeks since we talked. We have been dating for 3 years and we have only seen each other once. I'd say you should talk to him about the problem, cause i know i feel bad when she sneaks a call and i missed it or when i don't have time to get on myspace to reply to a message. But no matter what the problem is u should confront him with it to avoid confusion or perhaps to prevent a broken heart.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): First, hun. U have to decide if you're really over the first guy. He calls u once a day....he's still showing some commitment at least.
Then think, to hell with it...this isn't fun anymore, cut lose and look forward to feeling excited about the new interest. I think, whether you're unsure about the intimacy or not, u should not let him into your house, let alone yr bed, until you've met face to face and spent time in the real world together not virtual. If he's genuine, he'll respect u if u ask him to book into a b&b.
Hope your dreams and expectations come true.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Don't get physically intimate...but yeah, get intimate in the way that you are clearly missing from your past realtionships - i.e. TALK - if that is really how you feel about this guy, and trust him to respect your emotions and feelings in this.
This will be the first time you have met each other for real with no other distractions - no, of course you don't sleep with him intimately tonight. If he wants more than a one night stand this is the only way he will respect you and believe this what you want also (I know there are many feminist orientated people who will disagree here but it's true. Sleep with a guy on the first night and 9 times out of 10 he will not respect you. Shouldn't be this way but it is. Guy has 100 numbers in his book, you think the same thing...) But take this opportunity to see if the relationships is what you hope it can be. And if it is not, move on, quickly. Understanding each other is always more private and closer than sex anyway, so wait, and enjoy the relationship you deserve when it comes along.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Is the man you met "chatting with" somebody on line - and is he the one coming in May??? If so, will that be another long distance relationship??? If so, it may more of the same.
I would think human contact, touching and hugging is always nice and welcomed (if you feel chemistry with him), but I would not get too intimate beyond that until you process what happened with your boyfriend (otherwise it will just be hurt spilled over onto a new relationship) without time to grieve the last one. Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): I think you should give the computer a rest and date guys that live near you so you can at least see them and get to know them in real life. LDR relationships have the odds against them anyways!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): Should you get intimate on a first date? How about: Never!!! The largest dating mistake in the world is sexual involvement too early. A good test of a true friendship is to hold off on sexual anything because if you lose him due to you not putting out, Good. If you lose him after a one nighter, Bad. I am always relieved when a guy stops calling just because we didn't get it on. Don't you want a real friend? I'm actually sometimes perplexed when my date assumes we're going to make it on the first night. Those kind of guys never hear me call them after that night. And they always call again. Always. Miss Williamz, let's change your name to Miss Willnot. Make yourself proud of how selective you are!
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