A
female
age
36-40,
*needhelp824
writes:I dated this guy for 5 years and he was my first love, my first everything. He went into the service and we parted ways. i ended up marrying his brother and had three children. Now i am in the middle of a divorce, not an ugly one. My husband wants yo get back together.. we had some issues with abuse, not physical. more mental and emotional. The brother and i, my first love are really close, we have been togehter sexually a couple times since the divorce started. He wants to be with me. I do love him. i do want to be with him to but im scared a little. a part of me wants to get back with my husband because of our children and in hopes that he will change his angry way. He says that he will do ANYTHING. said that he will seek help for his anger and that he wants to works things out.. My heart is with his brother.. my life was with my husband. I have a huge choice to make. all i want to do is be happy. please help!!!
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 January 2011):
This is a huge mess.
I'm going to make my case on behalf of your kids, rather then the two men.
Forget the two men. Your heat might be with your first love, but your kids are with his brother, and that will screw them up royal if they go from one to the other.
It's a shame, because I know you love him. But ultimately the choice here is our children, and not with either man.
What you do not want is your children turning into rebellious, spiteful monsters and choosing to make your life hell, because they don't understand. And they won't understand in the slightest.
You need to think of those children first, and not the two men.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): Think of your children. Sleeping with there father and uncle…come on. Remove yourself from both these men would be my decision.
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A
female
reader, golddigger99 +, writes (16 January 2011):
 Wow! Sounds like a messed up family relation between the brothers. I think your first mistake was to get with your husband while having been with his brother in the first place. Since that's the past, there's really no point in going any further. I would caution you, about being romantically involved with your first love in front of the children. They do not need to see the confusion of what's become your love life. You also need to think of your children and what's best for them. Is their relationship w/ their father a good one? If so, will being with his brother affect the relationship between you and the father of your children? If the answer is yes, then I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but this is not cause for happiness, only cause for trouble. About getting back with your husband, you must always remember that there was a reason you married him in the first place and a reason you divorced him too. Are those reasons still there in your marriage? Only you can answer. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, bubbly001 +, writes (16 January 2011):
 You need to do what will make you happy. You should follow your heart. It might seem like the wrong decision in the beginning, but after all of the drama and shock of the new relationship goes away, you won't have regrets. You can't fully commit yourself to someone if you have feelings for someone else. Just follow your heart!
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