A
female
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anonymous
writes:my life is so empty and i dont know how to fill it. who i am and who i want to be are worlds apart. im 22 and i dont have any friends, still live at home with my parents, i still have acne and my life is going nowhere.i want to be this like really pretty, popular, fun girl who does a lot of things. i was thinking about working abroad next summer - maybe zante or somewhere for 6 months - but i dont think i could do it because i'm so shy and hate meeting people. and i hate talking to men because im so scared they will think i am hideous and embarrassing. i'm just a sad case and i want to be doing something with my life and to be happy.i dont know what to do my life is going nowhere fast and i need a change but dont know where to begin! help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): If i did't think i could sleep walk and type on the computer i could swear it was me writing that! You are exactly like me in everyway you have described. I will be you friend :) xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): ok first of all have a look at this question:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-does-being-good-looking-make-you-so.html
from the outside it would seem that girl has it all. she IS the pretty, popular girl you say you want to be but she is, in her own words, miserable.
you need to start being a bit nicer to yourself. if you really are desperate for a change then do it! only you can change you're life. at 22 you're not too old to do something. infact this is the perfect time. i'm assuming you have no kids or real responsibilities so go out there and get living. working in zante for 6 months sounds like a brilliant idea. i have been to zante on holiday and everyone who works there for the summer:bar staff, reps etc they all have an amazing time and they all live for it. but most importantly almost none of them knew anyone when they went over there. they do day trips for the workers to get to know each other, your all in the same boat and they end up making life long friends.
check out myspace.com/zanteworkersarmy you could even meet some people online before you go over there so you'll know people when you get there.
it is scary and if you're shy it probably feels like your worst nightmare but you said you want to do it. be brave, go out there and do it. take enough money with you so that if you REALLY cant stand it all you have to do is go to the airport and you're on the next flight home.
but i think it would be good for you and would give you independence and help you become a more confident person. zante is full of people your age all looking for fun and to make friends.
good luck!!
ps as for the acne thing, there is a herbal pill you can buy in tesco specifically for skin complaints: works like a charm. and wash your face twice a day with black mud from the dead sea face soap which you can buy online...then drop me a line next week to say thanks for helping you look so beautiful! ;o)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): Oh, honey Do you knwo how many problems do popular,fun, pretty girls have!I ll pointo to some: Having no reliable friends, thats for sure, Not able to trust anyone,Thinking and confusing themselves about the true intentions of a mans and a bunch of others... Mostly true lonliness(even if constantly surronded by people) is their condition...! Be urself, Find a true friend, Go abroad , meet a new people...Who knows what next will come, Embarass Ur life and see what will happen!
Just leap ant the net will appear!
Life is too short to be to little!
Best of luck
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A
female
reader, phiatiger +, writes (14 October 2007):
I know where you are and how you feel because I have been there myself.
I think working abroad would do you the world of good, you need to be brought out of your shell - you dont need to become someone else, what you need is to find out who you are.
Have you been to the doctor to see if they can give you some more effective treatment for your acne? - just getting rid of that will make you feel so much better about yourself.
I also think you could benefit from doing something completely out of character, show yourself that you are wonderful despite what your mind is telling you.
I think you could try a photoshoot. It will give you a fun experience that requires you to be confident, fun and the results will show you as others see you. Im sure that you do have friends, thogh you may not use them too the extent that most do.
I advise breaking free from the parents, starting fresh, put yourself first, make yourself happy and build your confidence. Believe that you are beautiful, strong confident and you will be.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (14 October 2007):
Get one of those workbooks on careers. Take the test and find out what you might be best suited for. Make a plan to achieve your goals.
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A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (14 October 2007):
 It's easy for me to say this because I am so much older than you, but keep that in mind: I am so much older than you and am further down the road and remember the landmarks where you are.
First of all, you would never bash a friend like you have bashed yourself. Never! You would remind your friend that even if he/she had acne and 'no friends', you cared for him/her, and thought he/she had valuable traits. So, please ... honey ... stop it. Another thing, and the rational part of your brain will agree with me on this, so tell your emotional part to be quiet a moment. That 'really pretty, popular, fun girl' has her share of problems, too. She wonders if her girlfriends are talking about her behind her back because, Lord knows, they're talking about everyone else! She wonders if that boy she fancies even cares that she has a brain and likes science, or if he's just plotting how he's going to get into her pants. You laugh. You think, "OH! If only I had such problems!" Well, honey, we all have different problems, but they're ours and they're tough. I'm not saying that your problems are not real (of course they are!). I am saying that you know your problems very well and don't be so quick to think that they'd necessarily be solved by being 'really pretty, popular (and) fun'.
Now, at the same time that you say you want to be popular and fun, you say that you can't go abroad because you're shy and hate meeting people. Ummm ... which is it, sweets? You want to be popular and fun, but you hold onto your shyness and unwillingness to meet people so fiercely that it interferes with an opportunity to go abroad? Do you see it? You have power to change your life, but you refuse!
As for men, just read these posts! They're not all a bunch of self-serving, horny Neanderthals. There is a bunch out there with feelings and thoughts and dreams ... and no special girl to share them with. After all these centuries of all of us 'evolving', so many of us still feel vulnerable. So... take a little inventory of yourself. There's things that you like about yourself: admit it! You know, there's guys out there that would like those things about you, too, but you've already decided that you are 'hideous and embarrassing ... and a sad case', so you are not going to meet them. That's a shame ...
Be yourself, honey, but put yourself out there. Yeah, you're going to get hurt, but that's the price of development. We've all been hurt, it's part of the process. Go out there and live a little, and drop us a line! Best wishes ...
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A
female
reader, dont_worry +, writes (14 October 2007):
 Ok, first of all you need to lose the fear of meeting new people! i think its an excellent plan to go working abroad next summer, it will help you to start you career and begin your life independently not with your parents anymore.
To be popular and pretty and fun you just need to get a good self steem (: i know its easy to say it than to do it, but its the only way. You need to start to see the good things in yourself, start to enjoy life, about the acne, dont worry many people still have it! just go to some store buy some products and use them twice a day and i promised you that in 2 months your face will look cleaner than water =)
and girl you need to take your self steem seiously, try to do something now, because if you have it low, you will continue with this way of living forever! lose the fear and make yorself compliments, you are young so dont waste any other minute and lets begin to shinee !!
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