A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been married for over a year now and my husband and i are renting a place as we cannot afford to buy a house just yet. the problem is my husband wants us to buy a house together with his parents, but of course them living in the main house, and we would move into the granny flat / cottage. you know what they say about in-laws...i really do like his family and i don't want to spoil our relationship by buying a house together. it would really make my husband very happy, but i would be unhappy because i feel that i'm second best. when would we have a house of our own. i really need your help on this issue. it would be greatly appreciated. thank you. Odette. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): I have lived with the in-laws while we were looking for our house, but I lived in their house as they didnt have a granny flat or annex.
I dont think that he is putting you second at all, its hard getting on the property ladder, and if you are given the oppurtunity to live with family so that you can save some money to buy your own house then do it.
but I think that you should talk it through and let him know all of your concerns. I also think it would be wise to come to an agreement, set a date that you will both start to look for your own house. As long as you know that its not going to be a long term thing then it should be easier. And I think the fact that you are living in a seperate part of the house will make it alot easier for you two to have a private life too. So dont worry I'm sure it will be just the thing to help you get a foot on the property ladder.
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A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (22 January 2007):
 dear anon
i think you need to explain it to your husband just the way you explained it above, you love them and u dont want to spoil it by living in the same space which is true and i totally agree with you. do you really have to stay with them new house or not? if not i think u guys need to just rent where u are until such time when u can afford your place, maybe you can even consider investing in a small property to raise funds, that way you wont have to be forced to ask anyone else for help the time u need a bigger space.
just carefully talk to your husband and help him see things the way you do. good luck
jovial
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