A
female
 ,
*strid
writes:My ex sent me a photo in underwear, he's really good looking and wants me back but he was so beasty to me in the past... he wanted sex from the first day and I refused so he told me he had just asked to check if I was a slut and then kept on asking me for sex every day and making comments about our sexual life(non-existant) to mates and girls he met to come and tell me all agreed I was not normal. then he prentended to cancel plans when his friends were around and did not want to go for dinner or for a drink too often as he was saving up to buy a house and because as he said we could eventually drop, so I kept talking to him trying to make him undesrtand my view but he went on being hypocritical.I was at uni and he working near in a ship construction place, he went home soon so we dropped and I was released but he has kept contacting me 3 years and any time we get together to chat about this he ends up talking only about sex, he even said I would have to go to his house for sex and see how things went from there if I really wanted to be his girlfriend. I refused and now he's trying to be sweet and wants to visit over the weekend. I Would like things to be different. if he could poissibly change all those friends he talked to before are married or in a relationship so he feels lonely and this is one of the reasons why he behaves better though I feel tempted to tell him not to comeany ideas??? he's really good looking but I do not trust him but I would like somebody to love me and so on
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): I know it can be tough, and I know my words can be harsh and edgy, and I think you wanted more than just one person to answer your questions/issues, but often the answer you seek is something you probably have thought about already.
This guy you want, from the first thing you said - only want to have sex with you, and then spreading all those sexual comments to everyone, then calling you names and putting you down just because you refuse to have sex with him, and then trying to sweet talk his way into banging you silly, etc, etc, etc, just seems so obvious that he's a bad egg that doesn't deserve to have the love of anyone but his mommy and daddy, and his pacifier.
Often, people fall in love initially based on looks alone. It sucks really to know such things can happen in this world. Then fall head over heels for this person who is the sh*ts. It's like a female friend of mine who fell in love with some hot looking guy in less than a week, but after she told me how bastardly he is/was, I was like "HOW did you fall in love with him in the first place?!?!"
Gross really.
Anyway, definitely try to build on your self-esteem before anything. Read up on philosophies for the mind and soul, and take it from there if you don't already have a place to start. I know it sounds a bit far from this, but you have to start somewhere. What makes you confident about yourself? And I'm not talking about looks here. I'm talking about what you're good at, what you're interests are, and what you can do to help you improve your outtakes on life.
Everyone has potential, even your bastard love interest, but it's how willing you are to follow through with improving and upgrading yourself positively, while filtering out the negatives. 8]
A
female
reader, Astrid +, writes (22 January 2007):
Astrid is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yeah I'm going to follow your advice though it gets hard to think that somebody u really wanted to love u so much is so mean na keeps on moving the same way I would like to think he's different now,thanks for ur timE i quite like fords though they dont seem so availabel to me lately there must be a queue to ge them
thanks
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A
female
reader, Astrid +, writes (22 January 2007):
Astrid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah I'm going to follow your advice though it gets hard to think that somebody u really wanted to love u so nuch is so mena na keeps on moving the same way I would like to think he's different now,thanks for ur time
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): Well, if you base love on physical attire alone, then sure, go back to him. He sounds like an awesome chap to be with - that is based on look alone.
[coughs]
Now with my sarcasm aside, the thing is you know you're desperate and you know you are insecure and you have issues from your past, but no one here or anywhere can help you UNLESS you help yourself. Like I said elsewhere, build yourself internally first, before you set out to find a new love interest. Of course, I know you're not going to heed my advice, so this advice is for those who read it and wish to not end up like Astrid here.
Metaphorically, it's hard to change a gas guzzling street bastard Lamborghini Gallardo into a gas economic Ford Focus. [wink]
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