A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Question. Okay, I've been married for eight months now, so obviously I'm off the dating scene, but is it wrong to be shy? My husband wants me to be more outgoing, and my freshman year of college, second semester, I was more outgoing, but then I stopped being that way and went back to the old shy me. I understand his concerns, but I just don't want to lose myself. I have a friend who got out of her shell, but remained reserved, which I thought was neat. I have issues with PTSD as well, and I have a friend who stays inside a lot. I think she does this because of her past. While I can't say that I want to be like her, I'm not really sure how outgoing I should become. I know that my husband is only trying to help, but I just feel like I'll come out when I want to come out. I just don't know when or if I ever will. I am 22 years old, and finishing up college. I know in work situations I will have to force myself to speak, but Idk. And he wants me to talk to his mom more, but she scares me. I said something to her a few days ago, and she said "Yeah, whatever" and walked off. Why is being shy looked down on so much? How come it disturbs people if you want to be left alone? It's like they think if you don't say anything you are hiding something or you will be the next Columbine kid or something. I am obviously going to make up my own mind no matter what people say, but just pondering some questions with you all...
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): I am shy too, and i know it's hard because people can take you as cold or stuck up. But there is a way of being polite and sweet to people and you can still be yourself. You can have conversations with people and show interest in how they are without being outgoing. Just be a nice person. And about his mom.. you really just need to get used to talking to her. You'll be stuck with her as your mother-in-law for a very long time. some things you'll just have to overcome your personality for and get over. I learned to talk to my mother in law and things have been so much easier since then. there's a difference in being shy and being rude.. just make sure that the people around you know that you are a nice person and are interested in more people than just yourself.
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