A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupidMy husband of 2 years does not want to share bed with me. He plays games till very late and his work starts late in morning, but my work starts at 8 am. He thinks he sleeps better alone, I'm not comfortable sleeping alone, reason being, we hardly spend time together as it is, he does not like me talking to him during work hours and he does not help cooking, so no being together there too .. i feel more like a roommate who cooks and cleans than as wife or partner. If I try to bring this up, he gets defensive. And He won't keep the volume down when I try to sleep with him in guest room, thara where he plays games and we sleep, which is affecting my sleep also. I decided to sleep separately, since I don't know what to do anymore. Will sleeping separately a good idea or a bad idea in an already troubled relationship , pls help
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2020): You have been married two years to a man who does not want to be a husband to you. At least not in the way you want and the way you want seems perfectly reasonable to me.
I have to assume this guy has other wonderful qualities that keep you in the marriage. If not why are you still there.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2020): In my experience, according to my ex husband, not sharing a bed was one of the reasons he gave me as to why I should have known our marriage was over.
Now i'm not saying this is the case with you, but it certainly isn't a good sign that you are sleeping separately. You need to have a serious talk with him about why he no longer wants to share a bed with you, and explain how it makes you feel. Even if he gets defensive, you need to sort out these problems, instead of them getting worse by not talking about them. I'd even tell him that you feel more like a roommate than his wife, and tell him everything you feel. It's tough, but life is way too short to be miserable.
Communication is key, 100%!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2020): Sleeping separately is a good idea IMO if you have a healthy relationship and if you have a healthy sex life. Many happy couples sleep separately, for the very reason being that they can get better sleeps apart. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I suspect many, many couples do. Hubby and I do, and we are in a very healthy, happy partnership. Just one of us snores. Our friends who have been happily married 30 years have always slept apart.
I would suggest spending more time together in the day. Some people have a very hard time sleeping in the same bed if they wake easily, so please don't be offended by your husband wanting this. Your husband should at least be willing to turn the video games down so that you don't hear them in the next room though. Sleeping apart doesn't mean you can't visit each other's room ;)
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