A
female
age
41-50,
*rowneyegrl1029
writes:My husband of 4 years has recently told me that he has feelings for someone else and that they are sexual with each other.he wasnt sure what he wants.he tells me that we reached the end of our road.i love him so much and want to work it out but he wont give me the time or day.he is always with her.in our marriage we didnt have an exciting sex .i want to change that but he wont let me.what should i do to get him back Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): I'm sorry you've been treated like this, you've all my sympathies.There's nothing as such that *you* can do to win him back; *he* has to change his own mind or it won't ever work out. He's in the throes of New Relationship Energy right now, and won't be able to see clearly for the massive charge this gives him. The best you can do is calmly ask if he will go to a counselor to talk about what happened between you; if he doesn't, you can't make him - but you can start to move on knowing you did all you could do, *without sacrificing your self-respect*, to try and work things out.Regardless, start seeing a counselor to help you deal with the situation right now; you need someone to talk to who's not overly-close your the situation, someone who's had lots of experience talking wity people in this same condition.Very best of luck to you, I hope all will go well for you whichever way your husband decides to go.
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (31 August 2008):
 No problem, Browneyegrl. You may write me anytime. I hope that things work out for you, and I don't mean to make you sad, but you deserve someone who will honor his commitment to you. With counseling, hopefully he will see how you are feeling and perhaps your relationship can be mended.
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A
female
reader, Browneyegrl1029 +, writes (31 August 2008):
Browneyegrl1029 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank for advice.its real hard for me now.i just want 2 win him back.he says that he loves me but not in love with me.he tells me that he still thinks of me and that this is killing him but he dont come 2 see me so we can try 2 work things out.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (31 August 2008):
I'm so sorry that you're suffering like this. Unfortunately this happens in a lot of marriages. Your husband is being unfair to you. When you get married, you know that there will be times when one or both of you wants out, but you promise to take someone for better or for worse... and your husband doesn't seem to be honoring that committment.
I am sorry that my answer might make you sad, but he has to see for himself that to come back and stand by you is the right thing to do. Marriage counseling can make a difference. Saving your marriage is worth a try and marriage counseling is your best bet, in my opinion. Good luck.
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