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My husband thinks I should be "over" his cheating. But I'm not. Is it over?

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Question - (17 October 2005) 2 Answers - (Newest, 17 October 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

My husband and I are having some difficulties in our marriage. He thinks that a seperation's an option. He had a relationship with someone much younger 5 months ago and feels I should be over it by now. His reason for the relationship is that she looked up to him and he feels I dont support him. I am still battling with this. He has taken a "stand offish" attitude but claims to still love me. I feel rejected and have been crying my heart out the last couple of days - as I feel my world has crumpled around me. What should I do? Is it over? Or is there still hope?

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A reader, pops +, writes (17 October 2005):

There is only hope if you are prepared to work on your marriage and find out what was so missing that he felt a need to go to someone else. Its obviously you don't talk much to your husband about your personal and sex relationship. Its over due, don't you think? When people make a commitment to be together, they are committing to being faithful, and to be responsible for pleasuring their spouse. They are agreeing to teach him/her how to pleasure heself/himself. Most couples don't. They don't talk to each other about much of anything intimate, because they are both " embarrassed ". Get over it. Talk to each other. Teach each other. Make him the best lover you have ever dreamed to have. And become the best lover he can ever fantasize about. Sex is adult play. Laugh, enjoy, and have fun. If you are not having fun, you are doing something wrong.

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A female reader, sexseahot United States +, writes (17 October 2005):

sexseahot agony auntThere is no reason you should be over this already. Maybe 5 YEARS ago, but not 5 MONTHS ago. I don't think he actually has any excuse that would be a good enough reason for him to cheat. If he feels that you don't support him then maybe he shouldn't be with you.

There is no reason why you should have to deal with this. I would say just leave him and find someone you could start fresh with, but it's easier said then done. You love him and want your relationship to work. It just seems he don't care too much about your feelings. He should be apologizing and trying to make you happy for what he has done.

There is no reason why you should feel the way you do. He's the one that has done you wrong and he's just staying away from your feelings so he might not have to feel guilty for what he has done. If he actually cared he'd be there supporting you and your feelings and letting you know he cares and wants to make your marriage work.

To me, I'd say forget it, he don't seem to be very nice and supportive himself. If you've been crying and he's not there to support, why would you want someone like this? You should make a choice, either he starts making all this up to you and just get rid of him, you don't need someone like that. You deserve better, anyone would deserve better.

Good luck and just remember, don't let someone walk all over and treat like this. Life's too short and it's not worth the time.

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