A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really need some good advice here. I'm having lots of trouble finding it out why my husband stopped having sexual desire. He went to the doctor and they said he is healthy, so it's must be some psychological stuff.Now ,we also went to sex therapist and it remains a mystery what went wrong and when, but it is like that at the last few years..He gets some erection time to time but he losing it from the sexiest stimulation to intercourse.So my question is, what can cause this, and what would be the smartest question to ask from him, what wouldn't hurt him, but he can give honest answer...Thanks, it would really help.
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female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (17 August 2009):
 Go back a few years and think if there is anything that has triggered this that would be your best bet to try and find out why this has happened.
If you find nothing and it is him just not getting motivated enough do you think he is suffering from depression?
Not all doctors get it right see another till you get to the bottom of this only when you have exhausted the resources out there will you know for sure.
Going to a sex therapist should have helped maybe the therapist wasn't that great?
Again exhaust every avenue you can he has gone this way for a reason you just need to keep at it to find that reason good luck.
Gina
A
female
reader, Basschick  + ♥, writes (17 August 2009):
 I'm assuming he's not on blood pressure medications, so does he still find you attractive?....Maybe you just need to change things up a bit. Do you ever give him a blow job?...Sometimes if you start out like that, he will be able to maintain an erection so you can have intercourse. It could be that things between you two are, well too tame? Try being more agressive, try initiating sex; dressing up in sexy lingerie. These are all things that can spark a man's interest. Perhaps he needs to see you in a new light to keep things less predictable.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): Are you on some form of hormonal birth control (pill, nuva-ring, norplant, etc)? There is growing evidence to suggest that it affects the chemistry of human desire and scent, and how humans are attracted to each other.
I found myself completely unattracted to my ex after a while, and our relationship eventually fell apart due to utter lack of chemistry. Since then she has commented that her relationships are much better when they don't use the pill, and I have seen the same thing.
Search for the article "Scents and Sensibility" written for Psychology Today. I'm sure it's not a perfect theory and clearly wouldn't be the only reason for a lack of sexual desire, but it might be component of the problem.
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A
male
reader, rcn + ♥, writes (17 August 2009):
 Has there been any dramatic changes over the past few years, other than his lost desire? There can be so many causes, the information here is not enough to direct you to what it may be. Seeing a sex therapist would be the best. Just continue going and working with them. I would think about what may have changed in that time though. Anything that may cause increased stress etc.
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