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female
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anonymous
writes: Everytime my husband and I go out he ends up getting mad at me because he says I stare. It embarasses him and he thinks that "I'm looking for something else." I would stop, but I don't even realize that I'm doing it. I love him dearly and don't like to see him upset, but sometimes I feel like he has to be making it up. I've asked him to point it out, but he won't. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, cherub +, writes (10 June 2006):
 Hi
In many ways I can understand what your husband is saying,because of similar experiences I had with my girlfriend.Whenever we are out she nearly always seems to 'check out' other guys.Initially she said she is not aware of it,but latterly admitted that she does looked at other guys but if it makes me uncomfortable then she would curtail that saying she loves me and does not want me to feel hurt or insecure or being disrespectful as she would not like it if I am doing the same i.e looking at other girls when out with her.Reassure him of your love and talk to him about knowing how it would feel if the situation is reversed and it can seems disrespectful even though you wouldn't do that for the world as you love him to bits.
I am a little insecure probably your husband too.In a way it shows he really loves you and cares.
One query I have for you is that you said you are not aware of your action,then,what go through your mind when you are out?Maybe you might want to be consciously aware and reflect on your behaviour next few times you are out with or without your husband,then ask yourself whether there is a problem.If there is whether you can accept it and then want to change.If you do stare and feel that is not a problem then maybe he could change to accept the way you are after all he married you knowing you do stare.Communication and compromises and understanding and awareness of the partner's feeling helps to build a healthy marriage.
One other point you mentioned that you are having a blast and behave differently when with other people,what make it difficult to be your fun persona when with him?If you can then maybe he wouldn't think you are having more fun with others then with him,someone you love.It does dampen his self-esteem believing that he cannot make you laugh,afterall,good sense of humour is important in one's personality.
Best wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI spoke with my husband and he says that I act different when we are around other people. He said last night it seemed like I didn't want to be there or wasn't having fun. I take offense to that because I was having a blast. It is like he doesn't like my personality when we are around other people. Of course I'm not the same as I am behind closed doors, but geez.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLast night he got upset and just tried not to say anything, but I could tell he was upset. This morning he says that it wasn't because I was staring it was because I acted different. Like I didn't want to be there or wasn't having fun. I was having a blast and kinda take it offensive that he says that. I feel like he doesn't like my personality when we are around other people. Everyone acts a little different when they are out in public, even he does.
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female
reader, Smiler +, writes (10 June 2006):
 Hey Sweetie
Well i think also that you r husband is just a little worried that your looking elsewhere, but maybe he is also a little paranoid as to why you have to look elsewhere when you have him you know, i understand that you say you don't realise your doning this but sweetie i have to say if the boot was on the other foot would you believe that he didn't know he was doing it, i doubt it... if i were you sweetie i would just try to sort this issue out by sitting down with your husband and reassuring him that you think he's gorgeous and you don't mean to be looking elsewhere its not that you are looking for someone else in fact put a whole new spin on it tell your husband that you are trying to see if they come up to your husbands standard then reassure him by saying that no one comes close cause he is simply fantastic, and you love him to bits...
I hope my advise helped you out a little sweetie Good luck, if you ever need a friend to talk to or just some more advise don't hesitate to email me i'm always here for you ok... would like to hear from you again let me know how you get on ok..
You Take Care Sweetie X
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female
reader, sibaan +, writes (10 June 2006):
 i think he is just insecure and worried that he is going to lose you. just access yourself next tome you go to the mall or somewhere and try not to look at too many people walking by etc
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