A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My husband of 5 years has suddenly asked me to stick my finger up his butt while going down on him. Does this mean he is gay? Why does he want me to do this? I asked him won't this hurt you and he said your fingers aren't that big it will feel good.. So I am a little confused... Does he not like the things I already do for him? He never goes down on me.. Why? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): First, there are gay and straight men who enjoy anal stimulation and gay and straight men who don't like it, so it has no connection whatsoever to a person's sexual orientation.
Straight men may be less comfortable admitting they find anal stimulation pleasurable.
When a man enjoys it, it is extremely pleasurable and can produce a powerful orgasm.
I doubt your husband is gay. It sounds like he is simply becoming more aware of his body and less fearful of superficial social stigma.
As for not going down on you, it may not be his thing. Sexual tastes are highly diverse. You might simply want to ask him too. An honest question and answer might ease your anxiety.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): No it doesn't mean he is gay.
It's not strange in my books for a man to enjoy that sort of thing. My bf loves annal play if you get the right spot you can stimulate the prostate which gives men great pleasure. You don't even have to go all the way in just around the outside can be pleasurable for them.
Hope this helps
Have fun.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): Just dont wear false nails when you do it, I did this and we had a job getting it out when one came off!! ouch
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (14 August 2007):
Never done it myself, but supposedly if you can get to the prostate you can hit a "male G-Spot." I've also heard that if timed right, a finger up there can make a man shoot across the room, but it doesn't feel good after.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): I dont think hes gay!!! I just think he wants to go outside of the box. Something new to try...new feelings go through the body when new places are touched!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): I can only say that a married guy I was with for a couple of years seemed to think I was the best thing since sliced bread, partly because I paid attention to his ass. He never even asked me to do it - I just guessed. My other guess is that he was embarassed to talk about it with his wife -- maybe because she would say he was gay -- who knows -- and she never considered that he would be interested in that. While our thing was going on the sex was good - I loved driving him crazy in a way that I suspected not too many women had known he would like.
Why he won't go down on you is another question. If you are the one servicing him and he is not reciprocating, well, that is just bad in a lot of ways, and I don't have a bunch of experience, but I have never found the right way to deal with what I perceive to be a lack of respect and appreciation except to just leave the guy. If you have to explain it to him, he will never understand.
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (14 August 2007):
 You would need to ask him why he never goes down on you, and as for the finger up the bum thing i think it one of those things that some men just don't like freely admitting to liking because of the stigma that could be attached to it.
It was years before my husband told me that he liked that, and i'm totally cool with that, over the years our sex life has just got better and better because you just become more relaxed with each other and you can do want you really want and not feel embarrased about it.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (13 August 2007):
 Not at all... The rectum is a form a stimulation for the male. It's not really my thing, but it's supposed to work...
DV1
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