A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:we have been married for 2 years. before we got married, it took me a while to accept my partner as the one. he now seems to be very bitter about the rough time i gave him. before we got married, he used to be this nice guy but nowadys he is very cold and unaffectionate. i have tried my best to make this marriage work but my husband seems to be unable to let go of the past. we seem to have a lot of difficulty in resolving conflict. whenever we have a misunderstanding or arguement, it's left unresolved and we go for days sometimes weeks without talking. we have a young baby and i,m worried that this type of environment is not nurturing. we have tried to talk to make things better but we keep getting back to teh same place. im now very confused coz im also running out of energy. i am thinking of separation but again worry about our son. please advise. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): i feel you...my husband of 15 years has pretty much become a stranger to me...because...indeed..he is not the man i married..one of my descriptions of him is...its lii=ke trying to communicate with some kind of shell of a man...there is emptiness all thru him..for me what works is...i remind myself that this is really none of my business..its something he must work on(if he chooses) and i told him i would be here as long as my "heart" holds up...and go from there each day taking care of and loving myself..if he cant love himself(you seee..thtas where the "coldness" is coming from) then he certainly cant love me..bless you...and good luck in this struggle....love yourself each day....
A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (24 May 2008):
 Try to talk to your husband and see if he is interested in making the marriage work. If he wants to stay in the marriage, then he will have to learn ways of resolving conflict. Ask him to remember why he got married in the first place. if things continue this way, ask him to go to counseling with you to help the marriage. There is a website called marriage builders that can be helpful to couples too.
Best wishes xo
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