A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi, my partner keeps texting a woman from his work, i have seen his phone bill and he has replied 250 texts in one month to her, should i be suspicious? he says he was only asking for her help at work when he didn't know how to do something.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008): hell yes but don't corner him keep acount of his schedual
if he says he's at work call his work if he's not
make sure he's not hanging with friends if he's not
start looking!!!
A
female
reader, Parisienne  +, writes (27 September 2008):
 I would be concerned, but not overly obsessed. Alert him to the fact that it worries you. Let him know that the frequency is the concern and not the subject matter.
Ask him to limit his texts to her if he can. If he says that it is necessary to utilize txt that often for work purposes then I think that as his partner you have the right to view some of the "necessary" texts in question.
If it is truly work related then he will have no problem demonstrating his pressing concerns that he has shared with her over txt. If he gets defensive then you have to figure out what to do and how far you want to press the issue.
Let him know that work concerns should be addressed at work, via email or even a phone call. However, texting constantly is inappropriate for someone who is spoken for.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (27 September 2008):
 Ask to see some of the txt, that amount sounds excessive for a long term couple let alone a co worker. Surely calls would be cheaper!
On the other hand, he might of deleted them! Because his inbox was full of course! Hmmmm.
Best thing to do is stay aware and see what happens.
C xxxxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): I wouldn't say that he's cheating. I text a coworker of mine quite often. We text and email regularly - mostly about work related issues. When we have work related issues but can't readily talk on the phone , the testing can become huge. I would just ask him about it in a non-judgemental way. Let him know you feel a bit bothered by his actions. Commnication is the first step to resolution of a problem. Take care.
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A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (27 September 2008):
 Yep, if your gut is telling you to be suspiscious (which I think posting this question on this site indicates) then you should definately trust it.250 texts for a work issue...doesn't sound plausible to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): Ask him if you can see some of the texts, perhaps in a jokey way. If he's got nothing to hide then he won't mind. You will be able to gauge from his reaction to you asking whether he feels guily about something or not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): Yes be worried. If he was asking for help at work, then why didn't he asked for advise whilst at work? There is no need to text this person constantly. I'm sorry to say he is most probably lying to you.The same thing happened to me, my ex boyfriend claimed they were just friends. Upon further investigation i discovered he was feeding her the same chat up lines as he gave me when we first got together. Don't get caught into the same trap as me and start investigating, as you'll become obsessed. The whole thing made me very ill and depressed. My advise to you would be to tell him that his friendship with this lady is upsetting you, please back off. If he says no, then ask him to leave. You're his wife and your feelings should be the most important thing to him, if they are not he is going to hurt you, so get out before it gets worse.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (27 September 2008):
 You should keep your eyes open. Having said that, having young adult children, I know that texing is huge. The packages they sell for cell phones offer thousands of texts per month. What kind of work do they do? Maybe they flirt, maybe they get cute with each other in the texts. Keep your guard up.
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