A
female
age
18-21,
*rsccc
writes: help!i want to stop this emotional maddnes! my husband is a neat freak and i really just dont care. i really cant find motivation to clean the house. i want to, but when its messed up by him hours later i jsut say screw and dont do it anymore. idk what to do. this brings so many problems into our marriage. seriously! i really really need to find some way to keep myself motivated to do this for myself and him. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MissKin  + ♥, writes (1 November 2009):
 Then he isn't a neat freak he IS a control freak. I wouldn't do it. Not to be disrespectful but there is no way i would clean because i'm OBLIGATED to as a wife and a mother. no freaking way. don't let it become a pig-sty but if he wants it spic and span tell him to clean up after himself!
A
female
reader, marieclaire  +, writes (1 November 2009):
 if he's a neat freak let him clean up!! why should you have to clean up after his mess?
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A
female
reader, mrsccc +, writes (1 November 2009):
mrsccc is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe does that because its my responsibility as the wife and mother to clean.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): Set a schedule for when you clean. Once a week for example. If he messes it up hours after you cleaned, he'll have to live in the mess until next time you clean. If he doesnt like the mess, he needs to clean it up himself.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (1 November 2009):
 Sorry, ignore my advice, the others are right- missed the part where he messed up the place.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (1 November 2009):
Like the Nike commercial, "just do it". It's that simple, and it has nothing to do with motivation, it has to do with priority. If it's important enough to you, you'll make the effort, regardless of feelings of motivation or lack of it. I hate getting up in the morning to drive the hour it takes to get my son to school and come back- I'm never motivated, EVER, it sucks. I do it because my son's education is important and you'll do it when you decide your marriage is important. If I waited around for motivation to kick me in the ass, I would never get up in the morning.
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A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (1 November 2009):
 This sounds like a control issue, not a neatness obsession.
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A
female
reader, MissKin + ♥, writes (1 November 2009):
If he's a neat freak - why is he messing up the house? being a true neat freak means you DON'T make a mess. so i can't imagine it bothers him that much if he's the one making the mess. It shouldn't be just your job to clean either, you should both be cleaning. This has confused me a bit. talk to him though, tell him you're lacking in motivation to clean. If it's a serious problem (though im still stuck on the idea that he makes a mess and is a neat freak) perhaps you could seek relationship counseling to deal with his problem.
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