A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband has spent over $90K on lap dances in the past 4 - 5 years, exhausting any savings we might have had. Since getting caught, he's quit, but I can't believe the addiction isn't still there.Stay or divorce?
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divorce, lapdance, stripper Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): I just found out in August 2008 that my husband also has an addiction to strippers and lap dances, he said he'd pick out the prettiest or the shortest ones, he went during the day also sometimes with friends sometimes alone. He told lie after lie when confronted and then he finally told me the truth also he had 2 erotic massages with getting laid and bj. I can't trust him anymore and I have invested in a monitoring device for days. Now I know where he goes and who he talks to.
A
female
reader, happy24birthday + ♥, writes (2 January 2009):
 To simply answer your question... divorce. If leaving is that easy for you to do, then I advise to do it. I'm not talking about it being easy for you emotionally, but if he's not going to be mean about it or give you much trouble about leaving, then I think you should leave. Gina is right, but not all people are going to seek help. He will more than likely continue his ways as soon as he gets the chance.
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (2 January 2009):
 As with any addiction he has to seek help it does not go away on it's own! what has he done to get help? Yes he will quit for now cause he was caught and knows you are monitoring him but if he was spending this amount of money over the past 4/5 yrs then i'd say he has a huge problem he cannot do this on his own he has to seek professional help for this i would also add and i am sorry if it offends you but have you both been tested health wise? If not do so now as some of the lap dancing clubs are giving more than a lap dance! I fully understand where your coming from with this i had similar problem with my hubby and with not so nice women too he quit when he got caught and i told him i wanted a divorce there and then and he begged, pleaded with me to forgive him and i told him get help and then we talk! He did and he is in recovery now and we are still together. You need to decide yourself whether to stay or go no one can decide that for you as with any addiction it takes it's toll on you and you have seen the damage this has caused moneywise i too was there you cannot believe they can get so hooked and spend this amount of money on these things but they can because the compulsiveness behaviour will always drive this addiction and that is why i say he needs to seek help he can google Sex Addiction and in your state find out what help is there for him he has to take this step and get help otherwise the addiction could make him relapse at any time if you want to mail me privately please feel free to do so.
Gina
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