A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my girlfriend have been on a bumpy road for the past two years among trust issues partying etc..ive cheated more than she has but here lately she cheated for the first time with her ex bf because she thought we werent being serious when clearly we were over everything that went on in the past now were all screwed up from both directions but i love her and she wants me to get another job and moove out with her and start a life i dont think i have all the partying and everything outta me to settle down and commit too all that i wanna live life explore try new things....what to do? suggestions break up get help? i need some kinda direction on where too turn
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 July 2012):
 I think when cheating becomes the "norm" in a relationship, the relationship is over.
The fact that she says she wants to settle down, but because she felt you weren't ready her solution was to cheat?
Doesn't sound like she is really ready to "settle" anything.
I would honestly end the relationship now, before someone gets pregnant or you both "settle" for each other because it's convenient.
Maybe you need to stick being single a while, get that party stuff out of your system.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2012): "i dont think i have all the partying and everything outta me to settle down and commit too all that i wanna live life explore try new things....what to do?"
Break up with your girlfriend so you will have the freedom to explore life and try new things; that's what young adulthood is for, taking advantage of your newfound independence from your parents' legal authority to have fun and enjoy life while discovering the person you really are.
If you and girlfriend have been "on a bumpy road for the past two years" then you should not move in together. If she uses your not "being serious" as a rationalization for cheating on with you with an ex then you should not be together period.
Neither of you is remotely ready to settle down with anyone, let alone each other, at least you have the self-awareness to admit it; nothing to be ashamed of, perfectly normal and expected at your stage of life, NO 18-21 year old should be ready to settle down. I suspect gf is product of broken or dysfunctional home and she wants you to get another job, move in with you and start a life together in an attempt to instantly create the stable and secure home life she never had growing up.
I'm sure gf is basically a nice person and good in bed but I very much doubt you truly "love" her, more likely she and you are likely filling voids in each other's lives of which you are not consciously aware. That's why the both of you need to go your separate ways now rather than cling to each other in a mutually dysfunctional relationship, and the worst thing you can do with stay with her because you'll almost certainly end up knocking her up and then you'll be stuck with both a kid and a baby mama you really don't want or need in your life now or in ten years.
Brief summary: break up ASAP, best in long run for both of you. If you were meant to be together (and I highly and sincerely doubt that possibility) then you will find your way back to each other when you are both fully formed adults, which neither of you will ever become if you don't leave her NOW.
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