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My girlfriend keeps changing her mind about us!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 August 2005) 4 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2005)
A male , anonymous writes:

My problem is that I've been broken up with my girlfriend for just under 3 months after we decided to have break to clear our heads! There has been limited communication between us since my girlfriend said that she wanted to end our relationship 2 months ago.

But in the last 2 weeks she has been in contact me every second day for different reasons, especially last week when we met for coffee on 2 occassions, and the rapport between us has been great!

But the last time we met, just as she was leaving she said to me that she just wanted to be friends at the moment and became very defensive. What does this mean? Does she want get back together or doe sshe just want to see me when she needs me to help her with something?

I'm still deeply in love with her and the only reason we broke up was because of family conflict! HELP !!!!

View related questions: broke up, get back together

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2005):

Was it her family or yours? recently my boyfriends family all turned on me for no reason what so ever, i was threatened were expecting a child together and that was threatened and he was asked to choose me and our unborn child or them! he made his choice and now were very happy, families have a big impact on the relaionship and its obvious you both love each other if she didnt love you shed have left and never spoken to you again! you should let her clear her head be there for her emotionally and when you feel that the time is right you should go for it! if she isnt ready she isnt ready dont rush her but let her know you wont wait forever! Goodluck i hope it works out for you dont rush into things ok!

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A reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (21 August 2005):

Rebecca Batchelor agony auntIt could be that she is very confused at this moment in time. If there is family conflict, this could be playing a part.

However, it could also be that she is simply using you when she needs suppport which isn't fair on you because of what you feel for her and she would be taking advantage of this.

You need to be straight with her even if she does become defensive. Ask her if she feels you will always only be friends and whether she would like to be able to resume the relationship in the future. Make her aware of the fact that you can't hold on forever. If she knows this, she will be more likely to take you seriously.

It is hard to know on the basis of your letter whether she is just using you. For example, when you met up, was it because she needed your help and support over something or did she just want to see you? Or, did she somehow combine the both? Work from these facts.

You need to also know why she hardly contacted you before but lately she has. What is going on in her life?

The only way to answer these questions is to talk to her and make her aware of how you feel and that you wish to know where you stand.

Good luck.

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A female reader, bettyboop_uk2002 +, writes (21 August 2005):

hello, sounds like she likes you very much still, but the problems surrounding the relationship will be hard. try ur best to move on, try to keep the contact minium! because its hard to be just friends when there has been more. but if u really cant live without her... tell her again, if she still says no??? end of chapter... if yes, u just have to work extra hard for it to work...

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A female reader, Anastasia Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (21 August 2005):

Anastasia agony auntIt seems that she is one confused girl at the moment and you need to leave her alone for a bit. Clearly her head has not been cleared very well. And it is unfair that she keeps you on an emotional roller coaster like that and has you guessing. I know you love her but my thinking is...be straight with you or don't be at all. I know this is harsh but I hope this helps. You don't deserve to have your love in and out like that. Forget her ...move on and be happy and unconfused. ana

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